personal

I Am Two Extremes

Those two extremes equal me. Who I was, who I have become.

There’s the one extreme that has shined through and the one people now seem to recognise in me. Creativeness, ambition and boldness. The loud one that wants to be seen, that wants to live for her passion and be creative. The one that made me fight.

This side of me has made me do and experience things I never in a million years thought I would. It has made me get out of my darkest time, and keeps on pushing me everyday.

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There’s the other one that took up my entire life as a kid. Selective Mutism. Anxiety. Fear. I never left the memories and feelings behind me, I decided to take it with me and carry it to show others what is possible. To inspire and help. Support and spread awareness. I took charge of it and decided I would keep my fight with me to show you, to remind myself of what I have achieved.

It also made me different. Different forever. In a good way. More emotional, but also better at explaining my feelings. More understanding. Stronger. A fighter.

Even if I didn’t want to speak up about it – I know I would  forever have parts of it with me. In everything I am and will become.

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So this is what I want it to be about. To share with you guys. The two sides. The two extremes. Me.

I hope you want to keep reading, interacting and following. There will be new updates here every Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned.

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Photos: Goldsmith Photography

Lots of love,

Marte.

Photographs · Thoughts

98 vibes

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For anyone wanting a cool editing app – download HUJI from app store. Gives your pictures more of an vintage look and I looove it.

Dan and I are currently back in Oslo after being in my hometown for a few days. Other plans for the summer? I want to make more videos for you guys, be more creative and work harder. Trips? Thinking of going to see my brother, dad and little niece very soon, then I’ll go back home to spend some time with my mom as well before August is over. After that I really want to visit Mathilde and Amy who’s moving (!!!) to Berlin and maybe take a quick trip somewhere in Europe for a weekend with Dan. And in between this is a lot of work as well! Haha, believe me. And then when September is over… A new destination might be next up… To live, experience and learn. You’ll know ❤

mental health · selective mutism · SM · video

Selective Mutism – My first YouTube video!

So I have finally filmed my first YouTube video about Selective Mutism! In this one I talk about my story, but I did try to make it short and simple – just so you can get to know me a bit better, but the main thing was to reach out to you guys struggling right now… This video is more of an introduction and I would really love it if you could ask me questions or let me know of what you want me to talk more about in the other videos!

I really hope you like it and that you possibly can benefit from my videos, both this one and the next ones! Thank you for watching ❤

Thoughts

Two Kids In Love

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two kids

different lives

different worlds

2

trying to figure out life

life and love

no

we already know love

3

do you know it takes work?

do you want to love and be loved?

do you know it means not giving up?

do you know it means loving yourself?

1

go your own path

choose the real love

the unconditional love

the self-love

the love that makes you not just fight for someone else

but yourself as well

 

life is unpredictable but I get to wake up next to someone 

I love.

 

Photos: Vilde Bråten @wildust.photo

Photographs · selective mutism · mental health

Is There Anything You Want To Know?

So after speaking and contacting different people around the world I have figured out the best way to reach a lot of people and spread more knowledge about SM for right now is to make a YouTube video.

I am really doing my best to be able to have talks about it and see people face to face because I think the affect is bigger, just from my own experience. I really want to be able to visit schools and talk with people working with kids, because that’s where the knowledge so desperately needs to be in order to help… But a great way to start is social media. And I also want to be able to inspire others that are struggling right now, and I know I could reach them with videos.

So with that, I want to know if there is anything you want to have answered? Any questions you have? My first video will mostly be about my own story and how it feels like growing up with selective mutism and not getting the help I should have gotten from the system and school… Write any questions in the comments, and I will answer them in either this video or the next one!

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Photo: @susiphotographer

Gjerne skriv ned spørsmål på norsk også, jeg tar de selvfølgelig med!

personal · selective mutism · SM

It was never a choice

It was never a choice. What kid would choose to not speak up, not get to know new people, hearing adults and kids talk about you – but say nothing yourself?

Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder and it used to be my entire life. There needs to be more knowledge, more support and more help.

My mom and I fought through it, all alone. Teachers needs to be aware of what’s going on right in front on them. No kid deserves to feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, and they have to carry it all alone. Not even professionals being able to help, or understand.

If you told me as a little girl that one day I would stand up and confidently share my story and be an inspiration to others – little Marte with anxiety would have never believed you. The loud, stubborn and ambitious Marte I was as home would have just told you “I can do anything.”

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personal · Photographs

Self – Love

I want to talk about self-love. About loving yourself. Loving yourself when you’re all alone. Loving yourself without makeup. Loving yourself because you’re unique and you’re you.

We all have insecurities, and when having the type of anxiety I used to have – it was more centered around other people. It is so frustrating being inside your head – and having confidence and self-love, but the second you get out in situations where you feel unsafe, all of that disappears. It used to take a second and I felt like I was robbed of everything I had when I was by myself.

So what happened? How did I push myself enough to have the same feelings about myself no matter who I’m surrounded by? How did I go from being the quiet one who only wanted to be invisible, to someone who loves herself and respect herself?

By being surrounded by my mom growing up I learned to love myself from an early age. I knew my worth and I knew I always had the right to my own opinions. I learned that my voice and dreams was just as important as anyone elses. This could unfortunately never have “saved” me from my anxiety disorder. I had to go through it, but I always had what my mom taught me in the back of my mind.

When I managed to fight the anxiety I was struggling with, and realised what I actually could do – everything changed. I took my confidence outside of home, I started speaking up and I wanted people to hear me. I’m always thinking – you only have this one life, why would you ever waste it by worrying about what other people would say or mean or think about you?! Every single one of us is going to be gone one day, and how will they opinions about you matter then, or ever? Why should it stop you from doing or saying what you want? You need to live your life to the fullest, and it always starts with loving yourself – before anything.

I know there’s so many struggling with this every day – so I wanted to write down some things you might find helpful ❤

* Write down the things you like about yourself. You can even ask your closest what they appreciate and love about you.

* Always remember you only have this one life to share your opinions, stand up for yourself and make a change.

* If someone doesn’t like you? Know that they have their own problems and there’s always a reason for something – they are probably struggling with themselves and it really is sad how that’s the only way they can make themselves feel better. Know it’s not worth any of your attention. Focus on you and your life. They are the ones wasting time.

* You are UNIQUE and no one is like you!

* Find a hobby. Maybe you’re wondering how this will help with self-love? If you spend day by day looking at people and what they are doing with their lives – you won’t feel good about yourself. Pursue something! Do something for yourself, and get good at it – or even just improve. You are capable of so many great things. Do it for yourself and no one else.

* STOP COMPARING YOURSELF! I know people do this every single day. Why do you want to look like someone else?! You are so special. There’s so many inspiring people out there and I get inspired every day, but I would never wanna be them. The world already has one of him or her – I wanna be me because no one else has that. You should own it – it’s so amazing.

Be good, do good – and love yourself.