video · workout

Workouts to do on holiday & at home

Hey guys! When I went to Thailand I filmed some of my workouts for you guys so you could get inspiration for exercises to do on holiday without access to a gym or at home either outside or inside.

I know you can feel like you have no option when you’re traveling because you can’t seem to find a gym or you don’t want to pay for only a few days of working out, but these exercises are perfect to do anywhere and anytime! You don’t need any equipment either, but I would recommend getting one of those resistance bands as they are perfect to bring everywhere and can give you even better results when you are only using your own body weight.

I hope you can find some inspiration!

SM · video

Personal Stories & Comments About SM

I thought I would share some of the comments/questions about Selective Mutism that I receive from others struggling or from people knowing someone struggling. I think it’s important just seeing and feeling that you’re not alone and getting that support from others. I often feel very sad and frustrated hearing what people go trough, it’s very tough. At the same time I feel so honoured that you guys want to share this with me and others! I mean, you are so brave. I didn’t talk about my SM when I was younger at all, first of all I didn’t want anyone to know because I didn’t feel normal, and secondly I guess there wasn’t the same opportunities out there – I didn’t see anyone sharing their story and I felt very alone which for sure made it feel even more like something you shouldn’t talk about. But yet here I am receiving messages from 10 and 13 year old’s sharing their story with the rest of the world. So brave and strong!

I’ll share some of the messages/comments that has been written to me on my channels, mostly on my videos, and for the ones that has questions I’ll share my response to those as well!

I don’t have any professional aspect in this with education, but I do have my own life experience and personal story with Selective Mutism and it is from that I am answering questions or giving advice to anyone. I do my best to help in the way I can. 

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My 7 yr old daughter says that the only thought that goes on in her mind while answering a question in school is how will people (teachers and classmates) react as they have never heard her… Can you please tell us how you overcame this aspect of SM…she’s now comfortable talking to strangers , ordering in restaurants etc…but not while talking to people with whom she has not spoken to before for the fear of their reaction…pls give some tips how to overcome these thoughts which stop her…

REPLY:

Thank you so much for your comment. I remember feeling like that, and it’s not easy… For me it was about realising that I need to do it for me, that I deserve to talk and use my words just as much as everyone else. Take one step at a time. Maybe decide together to answer one thing a day, and so on… I think it’s a lot about gaining that confidence in yourself. It’s very very difficult and frustrating because the worst part is the attention, but it’s so important to start thinking that you need to do it for yourself. If people look, they look. You are strong and it will only make you stronger and more secure in yourself… It’s a fight but it’s worth it!

 

Thanks so much for this Marte, it’s really good to see people talking about this now. As a former SM child myself I can completely relate and understand. Especially the pain you feel when questioned as to why you don’t speak, how frustrating and embarrassing it was to be introduced as someone who ‘doesn’t speak’ or shy. And also how talking to strangers is easier as you don’t feel judged. I particularly loved how you talked about the good sides to it. I too feel I read people very well, have more sensitivity to others than most and understand a lot about people through trying to understand myself .The more videos and posts I think people can do the better. Well done for getting to where you are today and thanks again xx

REPLY:

This means so much. I do think it’s important for people struggling right now to know that even though it all seems bad, we do have some very good things come out of it that makes us who we are, and makes us see the world in a pretty understanding, different way that I know other people usually don’t. And we are very strong!

 

I have a friend who has selective mutism and im doing everything I can to help her however its nothing is working and I doubt I have even the slightest chance however I dont care if its the last day of school I refuse to give up on her and im wondering if you had any advice that could be of use

REPLY:

It’s so amazing you want to help. Just be patient and understanding – I think that’s the most important thing. Be normal around her as much as you can, maybe talk about challenges she can do to start taking small steps, and just support her through it the best you can!

 

I’m 13, and I have selective mutism. I only just recently just found out what is was, and iv’e always just though I was weird. I was always known as the “weird kid” the “quiet kid” and iv’e always felt like I wanted to talk, but I couldn’t. All of this prevented me from making new friends and joining clubs. The only person I ever talk to is a friend a met last year, and even though it is usually just whispering and writing stuff down on a paper to him. He’s the only friend iv’e ever had. My parents never understood, and they always ridicule me say i’m weird for not talking, and how it’s embarrassing for them how I don’t talk. This video really help me, and reading the comments and listening to your story really makes me feel not alone.

REPLY:

Thank you so much for sharing your story! You’re such a brave and strong person, I know for a fact when I was your age I couldn’t even share what I was struggling with. I am really happy to hear that you have a friend, and even if it is writing things down on a paper or whispering – it doesn’t matter, you have someone and that’s so important. I’m really sorry that your parents doesn’t understand, it shouldn’t be like that. If you are able to, I think you should show them this video, or even just write them a letter or an email explaining how you feel, and adding some links for information about SM, including this video so they can understand more how you feel. Sometimes that is easier than just saying it, and often it might make them really read and properly receive all the information – hopefully realising they are wrong in the way they put you down, instead of being your support. Parents shouldn’t say those things, no matter what’s going on. You are never alone, and I’m so impressed by your honesty and strength!

 

Here’s more from people sharing their stories:

I’m 17 almost 18 and I currently have selective mutism…no one really knew what it was while I was in public school so I was always just labeled as the shy girl that doesn’t talk, people would always confront me on why I wouldn’t talk but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them so they’d call me weird and ignore me.

 

I had selective mutism until I was 15 years old. I’m now 19 and I can now speak to most people. I still have anxiety while speaking on the phone to strangers and my anxiety stops me from leaving my flat sometimes. But I am so proud of how far I’ve come. You are not alone and you can get through whatever you’re going through. Stay strong Thank you Marte for sharing your story xx 

 

I’m 11 years old I have it too it’s hard and makes blood pressure go up and I get really nervous.

 

I relate to you so much, I’m 21 and have had SM since I was In Kindergarten. It’s been tough. Thank you for explaining the positive side of having SM , because you made me realize the truths on the positive aspects of having SM that I’ve never thought about before.

 

I wish a could give you all a hug! I can’t believe how strong and brave these people are, I truly admire your openness and if I could just give you the perfect advice to get completely rid of Selective Mutism I would… The truth is there’s no easy path and there’s a lot of ups and downs, but it makes you grow – and you learn so much about yourself, life and others along the way. The most important thing is to stay strong and don’t lose hope. Teach yourself to be ok even though you are uncomfortable, it’s something that will always help you out in the long run – putting yourself in situations you might feel uncomfortable feels like the worst possible position when you have SM, but the more you do it the more you learn that it helps, it works. You grow and you’ll be able to overcome more and more as time goes by. Thank you to everyone sharing their stories, and also to anyone watching and learning about SM from my videos because their friend is struggling – you are so amazing!! It’s because of people like you guys we get through it.

I’ll add the two videos I’ve posted so far ❤

personal · Thoughts

You Can’t Be Brave Without Being Scared

Dan and I went to see this movie the other day “Eight Grade”, it was a good movie – but most of all was the meaning of it, the message and what it could mean to others. There’s certain things that the main character “Kayla” said that I feel resonates with how I felt as I was trying to put Selective Mutism completely behind me. Mostly in my teens when I did talk to others, but found it really difficult. The movie is not about Selective Mutism, and even though the main character finds it difficult to be herself and talk a lot to the people at her school she does not have Selective Mutism, but I know there’s certain things and feelings being explained in that movie that you for sure have felt yourself if you struggle or have struggled with SM, most likely on a different scale – but it’s just a nice thing being able to listen someone speak and explain things in a more childlike way, somehow it becomes more real and honest.

This was said in the movie;

“I’m really like nervous all the time. … It’s like I’m waiting in line for like a roller coaster and that stupid like butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling you get. I get that all the time. And then I never get the feeling after you ride the roller coaster.”

I remember walking around constantly feeling this way. There was never a moment to relax and not think or worry about anything and everything. And it just kept on going like that.

She also talked about confidence.

“A big part of confidence is being brave, and you can’t be brave without being scared”

At the end of the movie she said these words, amongst others like “pretend you have confidence and that will somehow generate real confidence”.

That is something I felt I had to do as I was trying to get rid of my anxiety when I was younger. I believed in myself, always, but I did not have a lot of confidence in doing anything or saying anything when I was around others. So I just started pretending. It sounds so easy, but it feels like the most difficult thing in the world for people struggling with Selective Mutism – pretend you have confidence? How are you supposed to do that when you can’t say a word, right?

Like I said this is what I started doing after I had challenged myself for years with the little things, that I’ve talked about previously – the small steps that matters the most. After getting through it I was able to be myself a bit more, or at least answer and have short conversations. I knew I had to challenge myself on different levels if I wanted to get to where I one day saw myself. I was in my teens at that time. I saw people around me daily do and say things and not even think twice about it, so I started saying to myself I could do it to – I should do it because then one day I might even be like them – just fully be myself and not be one bit concerned or worried about it, because I knew in my heart there really wasn’t any reason to be.

And just remember it’s not always going to be comfortable, nice feelings, a safe environment… In the moment it might feel worth it to stop challenging yourself so you don’t have to face those feelings, face the unsafe and scary – but it’s so important to keep telling yourself this is what makes me grow, makes me better and stronger. Like I always think – people are just people, who cares? We won’t be here for long so just be yourself and enjoy the great things in life, share your opinions and be proud of who you are. Life’s too short. Take on the challenges and don’t be too hard on yourself along the way. You can do anything. You just have to believe it yourself.

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workout

My Best Workout Tips

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  • Find your own thing! Cardio, weights? Intervals, powerwalks, crossfit? I used to only do cardio (mostly because modeling had gone to my head), but now I’ve realised how much I love weight lifting. I also love intervals or running outside to clear my head. It always helps! But it needs to be outside, if not I just find it way too boring.

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  • If you’re feeling super annoyed, angry, frustrated or sad – put on some power music and get to the gym to do your favourite exercises. I always feel like it in some way gives me my strength and power back. I can go back home, take a nice shower, put on some cozy clothes and think new thoughts with a much clearer head.

 

  • Good music or podcasts! Sometimes I want music that makes me give that last push, but somedays I get bored so easily and it can be more of a struggle to go – that’s when I love my podcasts. I usually listen to true crime, and having something interesting to listen to as I make my way to the gym and also do my exercises makes it so much easier on a more slow and unmotivated day.

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  • Try new exercises! Ohhh so many times have I gone into a pattern of just doing the same things over and over… You get so bored. Trying new things is always a good idea, and it can easily make you go more often and generally do more work at the gym. Or outside. I find that if you look up the right pages on Instagram you can get some good, new ideas!

 

  • Consistency. If you want results, you can’t just do some sort of exercise once a week every month. It does take some dedication and discipline. The main thing for working out should be staying healthy, but even with that there’s many of us that keeps on saying “I don’t have time”.  You need to plan. Sometimes it might take an early morning or a late night to just get it done. Or if you don’t want to spend the morning or evening at the gym, it might take you putting your gym clothes in your bag for after work. Or that you get up from that couch one hour earlier instead of laying there with your phone in your hand, just scrolling.

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  • It needs to be healthy. Too healthy can quickly get very unhealthy. I know. And I know a lot of you guys know. If you’re stressing too much about it, if you feel like you’re losing yourself in any way or that you’re just not okay with the whole food, gym, healthy, strong thing – then stop. Stop and talk to someone who will be there for you to listen and help you out. It should be something you do for the health of your body and mind, it should never go the other way ❤ That will never make you happy. It’s so important to not exclude the life you love to live just because you exercise. Pizza, snacks and lazy days are still so important.
Photographs · Thoughts

How Will We Ever Be Happy With Our Bodies?

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the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur 

i reduced my body to aesthetics

forgot the work it did to keep me alive

with every beat and breath

declared it a grand failure for not looking like theirs

searched everywhere for a miracle

foolish enough to not realise

i was already living in one

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Photo: Mila Ritz

Treat your body like you treat someone you love. Someone who loves you back. You should want to take care of it because it takes care of you. Make sure it’s healthy and happy, because that gives you health and happiness.

I’ve been through ups and downs with my body, and at times I’ve treated it very poorly. I went from being happy and healthy to the opposite when I stepped into the modeling industry. You can read more about that story here.

Everyone always seem to blame “society”. Like we don’t realise we’re part of it. Society isn’t “them”, it’s all of us. It’s the comments, the unrealistic goals that’s never real, and the judgement if you ever say you are happy with yourself.

It starts with us. It will always start with us, you and me. Appreciate your body for what it always was supposed to be. A miracle. Amazing in itself, exactly how it is.

You’re here, aren’t you?

personal

I Am Two Extremes

Those two extremes equal me. Who I was, who I have become.

There’s the one extreme that has shined through and the one people now seem to recognise in me. Creativeness, ambition and boldness. The loud one that wants to be seen, that wants to live for her passion and be creative. The one that made me fight.

This side of me has made me do and experience things I never in a million years thought I would. It has made me get out of my darkest time, and keeps on pushing me everyday.

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There’s the other one that took up my entire life as a kid. Selective Mutism. Anxiety. Fear. I never left the memories and feelings behind me, I decided to take it with me and carry it to show others what is possible. To inspire and help. Support and spread awareness. I took charge of it and decided I would keep my fight with me to show you, to remind myself of what I have achieved.

It also made me different. Different forever. In a good way. More emotional, but also better at explaining my feelings. More understanding. Stronger. A fighter.

Even if I didn’t want to speak up about it – I know I would  forever have parts of it with me. In everything I am and will become.

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So this is what I want it to be about. To share with you guys. The two sides. The two extremes. Me.

I hope you want to keep reading, interacting and following. There will be new updates here every Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned.

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Photos: Goldsmith Photography

Lots of love,

Marte.

clothing · Outfit · Thoughts

Put The Work In

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Outfit from Boy London… Love the colour and the trousers.

Currently doing my best to make plans happen and goals reached. It can be difficult when there’s so many things you just have to do, even though it takes a lot of you and it’s not what you “really really” want to do or spend your time doing. Priorities! Priorities and planning is so important. And living. Just living and enjoying. Time after time we get our question answered; “Does success, money and power make you happy? Are you happier now that you are where you wanted to be?” No. It’s the moments, the laughs, the people – the living part of it all.

So work your ass off for your dreams, laugh your ass off with your friends, and work your ass in the gym – my best tip 😉

I think you all understand though, it can be difficult at times – but a hard worker with time for family and friends, and a healthy functioning body will always be happiest ❤ Don’t just stick to one thing.