I know how important my previous video turned out to be for a lot of people, so I thought I would make another one and talk a bit more about the struggles you can experience when you’re getting rid of the anxiety, as well as other thoughts. If you have any questions feel free to ask and I’ll be so happy if you leave a comment and subscribe ❤
I wanted to let you guys know my thoughts about moving to Sydney + some vlogging from our day! Watch the whole video and you’ll be lucky enough to see Dan again as well :):)
I hope you enjoy! Leave a comment for more vlogs and don’t forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel for more videos!
Lots of love x
I thought I would share a few things with you guys that I do to be more productive!
For me it’s really important as I almost always have a list of things I want to get done, and sometimes the laziness just kicks in. But the feeling of knowing I could have done so many things but end up with nothing done and everything left by the end of the day is never a good one. The best feeling however – is when everything important is done and you can just spend the rest of the day doing anything you feel like. If you’re struggling a bit I hope this can help!
This is number one. You need to plan! Everything will go so much more smoothly and you won’t be stressed out trying to do a thousand things at the same time, not even knowing where to start or finish.
My best tip would be to bring out your planner (buy one if you don’t have one), and on Sunday’s you spend some time planning your week. Make coffee, tea and put on some music – you don’t need to spend much time on it and it’s a very good feeling when you’re a bit more organised and prepared for the upcoming week.
I would also recommend just going over and writing down what you want to achieve in the upcoming month when it’s the last Sunday of the month. It keeps you motivated!
WAKE UP EARLY.
Sorry to all the people really struggling with waking up early, but it is honestly necessary to be productive. You’re going to work, but still have a lot of other things you want to get done? You’re trying to create something of your own on the side? You’re trying to finish a book or study more? Maybe you just have tons of different chores and tasks to do? Wake up earlier than the rest of the world. You already know what you have to get done for today, you made the plan and now it’s time to do it. Don’t wait until the evening because you’ll be tired and unfocused – you might not even stick through and do any of it. Your brain is more focused in the morning, you’re rested and ready to learn, grow and achieve new things. The tough thing is actually getting out of bed, but when you’re up -make a nice breakfast, coffee or whatever you like, light some candles and put on some music. It always helps! Yes I do love the coffee and music thing… Works for everything.
Just remember: If you’re working a 9-5 but have a dream about running your own business or just doing something else, don’t forget to prioritize your qualities and strength to your own thing before you go on and use the rest of your energy for someone else’s business. Sometimes that means waking up at 5am.
GIVE YOURSELF A REWARD.
I mean… It always helps, doesn’t it? It’s not healthy for your body or mind to live your life from a list of things you “need” to do. But there are still things you need to do, that’s just how it is. So give yourself the time of day to just do whatever you feel like. Make sure you don’t sit behind a laptop trying to get something done all day until you just need to go to bed. It depends what you are trying to do in life, but let’s just say you always put aside time for yourself and the ones you love. If you have a job or school and then a also other work that you want to get done for yourself and a business or something else, you set a time for when you stop the “work day” completely. Say that at 18.00 those days – you stop. No more work and no more lists. It’s important for your brain to rest, it’s important for you to feel happy and enjoy every day even though you have things to do. It also makes you work more efficiently that day because you know what time you’ll put all the work away. Also remember that not everyday should be a day where you have “things to do”. Keep some days completely off, from everything. It’s healthy ❤
Dan and I went to see this movie the other day “Eight Grade”, it was a good movie – but most of all was the meaning of it, the message and what it could mean to others. There’s certain things that the main character “Kayla” said that I feel resonates with how I felt as I was trying to put Selective Mutism completely behind me. Mostly in my teens when I did talk to others, but found it really difficult. The movie is not about Selective Mutism, and even though the main character finds it difficult to be herself and talk a lot to the people at her school she does not have Selective Mutism, but I know there’s certain things and feelings being explained in that movie that you for sure have felt yourself if you struggle or have struggled with SM, most likely on a different scale – but it’s just a nice thing being able to listen someone speak and explain things in a more childlike way, somehow it becomes more real and honest.
This was said in the movie;
“I’m really like nervous all the time. … It’s like I’m waiting in line for like a roller coaster and that stupid like butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling you get. I get that all the time. And then I never get the feeling after you ride the roller coaster.”
I remember walking around constantly feeling this way. There was never a moment to relax and not think or worry about anything and everything. And it just kept on going like that.
She also talked about confidence.
“A big part of confidence is being brave, and you can’t be brave without being scared”
At the end of the movie she said these words, amongst others like “pretend you have confidence and that will somehow generate real confidence”.
That is something I felt I had to do as I was trying to get rid of my anxiety when I was younger. I believed in myself, always, but I did not have a lot of confidence in doing anything or saying anything when I was around others. So I just started pretending. It sounds so easy, but it feels like the most difficult thing in the world for people struggling with Selective Mutism – pretend you have confidence? How are you supposed to do that when you can’t say a word, right?
Like I said this is what I started doing after I had challenged myself for years with the little things, that I’ve talked about previously – the small steps that matters the most. After getting through it I was able to be myself a bit more, or at least answer and have short conversations. I knew I had to challenge myself on different levels if I wanted to get to where I one day saw myself. I was in my teens at that time. I saw people around me daily do and say things and not even think twice about it, so I started saying to myself I could do it to – I should do it because then one day I might even be like them – just fully be myself and not be one bit concerned or worried about it, because I knew in my heart there really wasn’t any reason to be.
And just remember it’s not always going to be comfortable, nice feelings, a safe environment… In the moment it might feel worth it to stop challenging yourself so you don’t have to face those feelings, face the unsafe and scary – but it’s so important to keep telling yourself this is what makes me grow, makes me better and stronger. Like I always think – people are just people, who cares? We won’t be here for long so just be yourself and enjoy the great things in life, share your opinions and be proud of who you are. Life’s too short. Take on the challenges and don’t be too hard on yourself along the way. You can do anything. You just have to believe it yourself.
I’ll be honest. First day of 2019 and I haven’t ever felt more lost. It’s how it goes though isn’t it? In your twenties you’re a bit lost and then you find yourself? I have always known what I wanted to do next, where I want to go next, why I am where I am and doing what I am doing, but now – I have no idea.
Photo: Mila Ritz
I am thankful and grateful that I got to share my story last year, and be some kind of support for anyone struggling with Selective Mutism. That I had my first talk about it and that my Mom and I finally got to experience the support from others ourselves, even though I don’t have it anymore it was such an emotional experience. This is my most cherished moment from last year. I will keep working even harder this year!
I moved to Oslo with Dan. Somewhere I never thought I would have enjoyed, but turns out – I did have some amazing months. I also finally got to live closer to my best friend, and even though it didn’t last for long I really appreciated being able to have her so close. I also made some amazing friendships – we didn’t get too much time, but the time we had gave us something to keep for years on and for that I am thankful. I loved being able to be closer to my mom, just a quick flight away and I was home, back to the safest place I know, right next to her ❤ I was also closer to the rest of my family – my brother, dad, aunts, cousins, and my little niece… I went through some tough times and lost my Grandpa, and to be honest it’s still very heartbreaking to think about. If my Oslo time taught my anything it’s that my family means everything to me. We don’t have all the time in the world and I just want to spend the time I’m given with them around me. Everyone’s getting older and I just don’t feel like being so far away all the time. So you could probably ask what the hell I’m doing on the other side of the world? I couldn’t even tell you, but I think my restlessness just had to get me here. And that’s probably the biggest reason for why I’m feeling so lost right now. What am I doing so far away? It’s not like I haven’t done it before, it just feels different this time.
I also tried Miss Norway, which I am thankful for because I figured out I really had something to share – my story with SM meant something so much bigger than I ever thought, but it also just made me experience once again how messed up this world is. Old men convincing girls to pay and give them money to be in a pageant that claims to “be more than just about beauty” because you have to have a “case” to fight for – yet if you got them any money the attention was there, but if you made a difference and worked for something bigger it was ignored. I got to the finale and I decided enough was enough. I wrote a blog post about everything I had experienced, and I do really hope other girls read it and learned something from it.
I also started spending more time in the gym with weights and only grew more and more passionate about it. My body has changed – no doubt about it, but so has my mind, and I’m happier than ever just being me.
Dan and I reached our goal this year as well, or should I say goals. We moved to Oslo, worked hard and saved up money so we could go to Australia. I finally got to see Caitlin again, and like we did in London we got the chance to live together again. This time in the cutest apartment. And now we’re here.
It’s nice here, the scenery is beautiful and the weather is amazing. I even love the thunderstorms.
In terms of work I want to be more creative, but the industry seems a lot different over here. Like always I do have some sort of plan for what I am doing and I am very passionate about it, and to be honest right here in Sydney could be a good place to start.
I just don’t know what it is. I struggle to feel like I should be here, that this is the place for me right now. Then again Australia is big and other places might feel different, and I haven’t seen everything even here in Sydney – I just wish the weird feeling would go away.
I’m young and I’ll figure it out. I’m lucky I’m not here completely alone and I got good people around me – which I am so grateful for.
Just because people are traveling and being somewhere completely different than you, sharing photos and experiencing something else – I really don’t want you to think it’s all perfect! It’s tough, and this time it’s much more tougher than I thought it would be – but nothing is wrong with that. Maybe it isn’t for me, maybe I will end up loving it and things will change, but whatever I figure out I just know I’ll have to listen to my true feelings. I’m still staying here for now, and for the rest of 2019 – let’s see what happens. I am incredible grateful to get another year on this earth. I’ll do my best this year – let’s get to work ❤
Photos taken back in my hometown by my mom. I miss her ❤
I’m kinda stuck with a feeling of not knowing what I’m doing, not even knowing how I feel about Sydney yet. So far it’s been stressful and less free than what I remember when I first moved to London. I know it’s partly because the circumstances are different, but I also know what situations and moments I need. It’s not always the easiest thing even though you know why and how and all that. You probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ll continue writing anyway. It ‘s so difficult describing what I’m feeling because I really don’t know just now, I’m not sure.
I’m now 22 and it feels weird to be honest. Well only the number I guess. Saying it and writing it. It just doesn’t feel like me. Your age isn’t you, but it’s still weird. I’ve decided this is going to be the year of realising things. Just realising everything. Kidding. I think you know where I was going. But I do want to figure out things. It’s not very specific, I know, but luckily I know what I mean. It’s difficult though. I just feel like there’s so many parts of me, so many passions and it’s all just a bit too blurry. As long as I try and also remember to challenge myself, then possibly end up failing, but for sure learning, then do it again, and eventually get to where I want. Sounds like a plan? I think so.
Something random: Today was the craziest weather day here in Sydney. It was a thunderstorm and I’ve never experienced anything like it. I believe there were quite a few accidents though, at least one very bad, which is extremely sad. I find it so scary how you can just leave home one morning and then never come back again… It’s very true but so upsetting…
I hope the weather was better where you are, and that you’re all good and safe!
So what’s new?
Currently working our asses off looking for apartments, found the perfect one but didn’t end up getting it, going through job interviews (well one for me so far), and honestly more set than ever on working even harder with my independent work so that I one day soon can do what I love for a living. Also stuck with a cold and I end up sneezing about twenty times every minute. Jet lag is gone though.
If anyone tells you it’s easy moving to the other side of the world they must be lying – or they’re just rich.
I always talk about how much I love traveling, and also how anyone who has a dream to just move somewhere completely new should “just do it” – and I still mean it. I just don’t want you guys to thinks it’s the easiest thing – you can get lucky, but it’s still a lot of work. Especially if it’s not just you. I have a feeling most people think it’s harder to move somewhere completely new and foreign all by yourself, rather than with others, but I feel like it’s the other way around. I think you just have to jump right in regardless, you’ll always figure it out. It truly is worth it.
So yeah – I’m currently tired and happy, and even more excited to get properly settled in, see more of Sydney and just experience life here ❤
Time to get back to work, I’m so ready for this new adventure!