Photographs

I Can’t Describe It

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Photos taken back in my hometown by my mom. I miss her ❤

I’m kinda stuck with a feeling of not knowing what I’m doing, not even knowing how I feel about Sydney yet. So far it’s been stressful and less free than what I remember when I first moved to London. I know it’s partly because the circumstances are different, but I also know what situations and moments I need. It’s not always the easiest thing even though you know why and how and all that. You probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ll continue writing anyway.  It ‘s so difficult describing what I’m feeling because I really don’t know just now, I’m not sure.

I’m now 22 and it feels weird to be honest. Well only the number I guess. Saying it and writing it. It just doesn’t feel like me. Your age isn’t you, but it’s still weird. I’ve decided this is going to be the year of realising things. Just realising everything. Kidding. I think you know where I was going. But I do want to figure out things. It’s not very specific, I know, but luckily I know what I mean. It’s difficult though. I just feel like there’s so many parts of me, so many passions and it’s all just a bit too blurry. As long as I try and also remember to challenge myself, then possibly end up failing, but for sure learning, then do it again, and eventually get to where I want. Sounds like a plan? I think so.

Something random: Today was the craziest weather day here in Sydney. It was a thunderstorm and I’ve never experienced anything like it. I believe there were quite a few accidents though, at least one very bad, which is extremely sad. I find it so scary how you can just leave home one morning and then never come back again… It’s very true but so upsetting…

I hope the weather was better where you are, and that you’re all good and safe!

traveling

We’re Moving Again!

Our permanent apartment won’t be ready until next Saturday, and as we couldn’t stay in the current Airbnb until then, we had to book another one for the four days before Saturday. That means moving again, packing up all the clothes and even food we’ve bought this time – which is annoying, especially since I’ve started work as well, but it’s all gonna be worth it on Saturday! So far it’s all going very good, I just really can’t wait until we’re properly settled into our new home.

I was off this weekend, and it was so nice getting that Friday feeling again – being able to sleep in and just experience more of Sydney. We actually went to Manly to eat and have some cocktails, before we went back home to change and go out in central. If you like Hip Hop or R&B I recommend going to The Cliff Dive. I have been there twice now and both times it’s been good music and just good vibes. If you want to sit and have a table you would probably have to come early, but it’s a place for mostly dancing so if that’s your type of nights out you’ll be fine.

Today has been a more chill day, pizza and sleeping in – but we actually felt so good despite going out we decided to go to the gym as well. The nicest thing without a doubt is the jacuzzi after, it’s going to be so sad to leave behind.

I also contacted a few modeling agencies today, so hopefully I’ll be able to get in touch with someone this week. It’s not always the easiest thing finding the right modeling agency as there’s so many different ones, but the main thing is always finding someone who understands you and what you want to do.

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This is a photo taken from the ferry the other day, I love how you basically can take boats how you take trains to go places here. I also need to tell you about my birthday last week in a different post, so stay tuned! I hope everyone has (or had) a nice Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

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traveling

Good, Important Changes

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For the last year (++) I have been lifting weights and from that I’ve become both more strong and curvy, which I honestly feel so comfortable with. I am so happy that I’ve gotten to the stage I have, just thinking back at how I started my modeling career now seems like a completely different world to me. I am so happy for my experience through the good and the bad.

I actually start a new job on Monday – where I can still use my experience as a model, be strong and exactly how I am, and for once really understand and see a different side to the fashion industry. More of the business side and the parts behind it all. Being part of a company and a team, not just a model and a mannequin.

It’s so crazy how things work out sometimes. You really don’t know what the next day will bring until it’s here. Suddenly I have a job I really wanted and an apartment in Sydney. I’m grateful.

It’s currently 03:03am here and I have been looking at “awkward moments” videos on YouTube for too many hours now. I started off with someone singing and now I’m way past that. Time to go to bed.

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It’ s also my birthday on Saturday and I have no idea what I’m doing. Dan has planned something so I’m just gonna be excited and wait ❤

Photographs

Do You Think Flowers Will Grow Here?

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“i can still see our construction hats lying
exactly where we left them
pylons unsure of what to guard
bulldozers gazing out for our return
the planks of wood stiff in their boxes
yearning to be nailed up
but neither of us goes back
to tell them it is over
in time
the bricks will grow tired of waiting and crumble
the cranes will droop their necks in sorrow
the shovels will rust
do you think flowers will grow here
when you and i are off
building something new
with someone else”

–  the construction site of our future

by rupi kaur

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Photo by Saq Imtiaz and edit by me
modeling · photoshoot

BTS – Shoot With Dan

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Here’s a few bts pictures from today’s shoot! So nice that the photographer wanted to have a shoot with us both. We went to a really cool location as well – I love it when I get to see new places during a photoshoot. I saw a new part of Oslo, and sooo many nice houses. Impossible not to daydream walking around there.

I’m so excited so see and also to show you guys the pictures, so stay tuned ❤