mental health · selective mutism · SM · video

Selective Mutism – My first YouTube video!

So I have finally filmed my first YouTube video about Selective Mutism! In this one I talk about my story, but I did try to make it short and simple – just so you can get to know me a bit better, but the main thing was to reach out to you guys struggling right now… This video is more of an introduction and I would really love it if you could ask me questions or let me know of what you want me to talk more about in the other videos!

I really hope you like it and that you possibly can benefit from my videos, both this one and the next ones! Thank you for watching ❤

Food · personal

Let’s Talk About Food

When you’re young it’s easy to not consider the importance of taking care of your body and the consequences it might bring you later if you don’t. Choosing good, healthy, and sustainable food has multiple benefits. It benefits you. It benefits the animals. It benefits the environment. Our planet.

As a 17 year old, I got the opportunity to travel as a model. Before traveled, I got “trained” in the modeling industry. My mother agency (your base model agency) that I was with at the time, was telling me what I had to do to be “good enough”. I always knew in the back of my mind that what I was doing to my body was not healthy or good in any way, and my body also tried to let me know – but my ambition and dreams were bigger, and I eventually got very good at convincing myself and everyone around me into thinking that I only did what was necessary, in a “healthy” way. 

B4D1427E-F793-4AF9-9777-DF53F0E752C9

Photo: Susanne Pettersen

The reason why I’m using a lot of quotation marks, is because it later became obvious to me that the food I ate and didn’t eat, left huge marks on me. The way you choose to nurture your body – what food you put on your plate – is the most important choice you make for yourself, and you take that choice every single day.

Now I know that it does not matter if someone is –  older, younger,  more successful or powerful – than you, it does not mean that they know what’s the better choice for you and your health. Listen to your body. Food is the drive for all your thoughts, strength, ambitions – your life and everything it involves. 

Be aware. Be aware of how much or how little you’re giving to your body, be aware of what happens to your body when you choose to give it hot dogs and Coca Cola, and most of all what exactly it is you are allowing your body to use as fuel – what it consists of. 

As a 15 year old I could not get myself to understand the importance of the right nutrition. Looking back I see now that I felt invincible and did not think that any of the choices I made regarding food back then could ever have the power to stay with me forever.

I tried to convince myself and everyone around me. I became good at that. Until it all became too visible. Until my body said stop. 

E4663A7E-0023-4833-AF8F-5ABEB5C08578

Photo: Susanne Pettersen

It will always, eventually, come to a point where the body forces you to stop or you’ll break down – completely. Either it’s too much food, too little, or too toxic… It comes to a point where it’s too late and you can’t just go back and “fix” what you have done to your body. The body that always tries to protect you, fix you and tell you when something is not right. You only get so many chances to listen. 

So what did all of this give me? What happens when a young, healthy and strong body suddenly stops eating after seven in the evening? What did it do to a happy girl full of ambitions, life and dreams when food became her worst enemy? When she chooses to exclude natural carbohydrates like rice and potatoes from her diet because then “I’ll be thin enough”?

It gave me pain. It gave me a lifelong illness, ulcerative colitis. A stomach constantly fighting against something that’s not there in the first place – leaving me with unnecessary pain that will never leave. Making it more important than ever to give my body the right nutrition, and giving me no opportunity to neglect my body any more, because only the best will help me. It gave my mom tears and fear. It gave my friends a distant friend that slowly disappeared. It gave me sadness and emptiness, tears and loneliness. 

It also gave me something else. It gave me a lesson, a tough and lifelong one, but a lesson. It gave me an understanding.

We all have a responsibility. I have a responsibility. 

9600A305-B316-4B44-A6D2-F0B3A0DD62A9

Photo: Susanne Pettersen

Bad food and food habits pose a bigger threat to health globally than tobacco, alcohol,  drugs and unsafe sex combined, but while there’s an age limit for alcohol and warnings about death on cigarettes packets – what is there for food? Toxic, unhealthy food? Nothing. There are commercials for it. It’s on kids menus.

There are so many people out there today that have a complex relationship with food – and I used to be one of them. It is difficult, tough and all-consuming. 

I wish I would have been kind to my body. I know for a fact I would have appreciated everything so much more. Everything that gave me real and true happiness. The new countries, the amazing people, every single experience. The things that still give me butterflies looking back at.

I would love to be able to go back in time and have a long conversation with myself, but then again – I am here now, a lot wiser, and with so much more experience. That counts for something. 

Imagine if we all could get rid of those thoughts… Take away all of those “this makes me fat, we have eaten meat since forever, it doesn’t affect me”… Imagine if we could change it into “what is actually good for my body, what will give me the correct nutrition, how can my body function the best way possible”… – And from there knowing that all the positive changes will show on both the inside as well as the outside.

The world isn’t where it should be when it comes to plant-based and sustainable food, but together we could all get further. We are the ones who can make a change. Everything is about what we want, what we are buying, what we need. What if we could ask for the best, not just for us, but for the earth as well?

D5862A16-76A3-4217-8AFF-5211725866CC

Photo: Susanne Pettersen

But how can we make it simple? We constantly have newspapers, bloggers, nutritionists, parents, teachers and even doctors telling us one thing is good one day, then bad the other day.

What is good food? Food that is good for your health, for animals and people in the supply chain – for the planet?

Food journalist for NYT Michael Pollan summarises the science and says that the short answer to what us humans should eat in order to stay maximally healthy is – “Eat (real) food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

Less is more. Less ingredients, less food additives, less mass produced products that can stay in your cabinet for months without turning bad. And yes, less meat.

More simple, clean and natural foods. Food that grows, that doesn’t come in a box and that has ingredients you know of. Food that can rot. It’s a natural and good sign. Eat more plants, seeds and grains.

When you are stuck with an illness and your only option is to eat what in reality is good for the human body, and not what people necessarily tell you – you start to realise the importance and huge impact it has, which is hard to see when you’re constantly getting pulled in different directions the second anyone talks about the word “healthy”.

The reasons why I have been eating more plant-based food in the past years have been the welfare of the animals and for my own health. I have also had many discussions with my closest people about it, and a lot of them, I surround myself with today,  have gone through a journey of their own and found reasons to choose a more plant-based lifestyle, which makes me very happy now that I know how much the food you eat can affect your health. Through documentaries I have learned how the meat industry affects the environment and our planet. Globally it is one of the largest sources of greenhouse gas emissions, and in developed and emerging countries it is perhaps the leading source of water pollution. It truly needs more attention. Recently is has made an even bigger impression on me, as I now know more about the impact is has on our planet. By meeting Gunhild Stordalen, Executive Chair and Founder of the EAT foundation, I have been inspired to learn, read and educate myself more on the environment side of it all.

Please – love yourself by choosing the right daily fuel. Last, but not least – Don’t forget about our planet!  

2E690675-CE63-43B4-A359-BEB5BEBD9010

Photo: Susanne Pettersen

mental health · Photographs · selective mutism

Is There Anything You Want To Know?

So after speaking and contacting different people around the world I have figured out the best way to reach a lot of people and spread more knowledge about SM for right now is to make a YouTube video.

I am really doing my best to be able to have talks about it and see people face to face because I think the affect is bigger, just from my own experience. I really want to be able to visit schools and talk with people working with kids, because that’s where the knowledge so desperately needs to be in order to help… But a great way to start is social media. And I also want to be able to inspire others that are struggling right now, and I know I could reach them with videos.

So with that, I want to know if there is anything you want to have answered? Any questions you have? My first video will mostly be about my own story and how it feels like growing up with selective mutism and not getting the help I should have gotten from the system and school… Write any questions in the comments, and I will answer them in either this video or the next one!

000BD36D-7C03-4170-A07C-872CED3801E4

923ED447-B534-4DC4-8DA7-E730C083C946

7D7AA4F8-6710-488E-9CCB-664FCAF46B3D

Photo: @susiphotographer

Gjerne skriv ned spørsmål på norsk også, jeg tar de selvfølgelig med!

mental health · selective mutism · SM

God Morgen Norge – Selektiv Mutisme

I dag hadde jeg mitt første tv intervju angående selektiv mutisme. Jeg er så takknemlig for at jeg får muligheten til å dele min historie, og være til hjelp for andre som sliter akkurat nå. Jeg vil gjøre mitt aller beste for at kunnskap, støtte og hjelp blir spredt. For at kompetansen rundt denne lidelsen øker, og unger slipper å føle seg utrygg i hverdagen. Slik at de kan bli møtt med forståelse, og ikke fortvilelse.

Det var utrolig godt å ha Heidi Omdal ved min side, for en utrolig fin og inspirerende person. Veldig stolt av å kunne være på God Morgen Norge med henne.

77C8EDE5-A70D-467A-BF76-941E517BCB72

C121A360-C8AB-4C1F-9281-77B2EFF4E2F1

1784CA1F-9578-409B-9D8A-488EFAE954EB

Trykk her for å se intervjuet!

Med det håper jeg så mange som mulig vil være en del av foreningen av selektiv mutisme, gjerne trykk her for mer informasjon – så håper jeg vi kan spre enda mer kunnskap og støtte sammen ❤

Har dere noen spørsmål angående gjesteforelesning på skole/universitet gjerne kontakt meg på fma11824@gmail.com.

Yesterday I had my first tv interview about selective mutism. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share my story and spread knowledge. I want to do my absolute best to help and make sure people struggling with this anxiety disorder right now will not feel alone. I want the school system and the support system to understand it. I want people to keep finding out, researching and doing their best to improve where they can so that no kid or parent has to be left alone and left out like my mom and I.  

Any questions regarding selective mutism and my story please contact me by email; fma11824@gmail.com.

mental health · selective mutism · SM · Thoughts

Skal du jobbe med barn og unge, eller gjør du det allerede?

4C6B49F6-6744-465F-8907-54CF79A1A176

Skal du det, så håper jeg du tar deg tid. Tid til å forstå, hjelpe og støtte. Jeg håper du er villig til å ta til deg ny lærdom. Lærdom om de som plutselig en dag kan sitte foran deg bak en pult, på en lekeplass eller når de en dag kommer til ditt kontor for hjelp… Dere er med på å skape en barndom med inntrykk og utfordringer – en følelse av håp eller av nederlag.

Alle kan alltid gjøre litt – og jeg vil være med på å skape mer forståelse. Mer forståelse bak den stille jenta, eller han som ikke prater. En angst lidelse som ikke har fått den oppmerksomheten den trenger. Ikke en gang når den er der, så klart og tydelig, foran så mange mennesker.

Hvis du skal jobbe med barn og unge, eller gjør det allerede – vil jeg veldig gjerne komme til din arbeidsplass og dele min historie. Jeg vil prate om mental helse og selektiv mutisme. Jeg vil sette mer lys på den stille og rolige ungen som prøver å gjøre seg usynlig, fordi de trenger like mye hjelp og støtte som de urolige og høylytte.

Jeg vil veldig gjerne høre fra deg/dere, så har dere noen spørsmål eller vil at jeg skal komme til dere for å holde gjesteforelesning – send mail til fma11824@gmail.com. 

Håper å høre fra dere!

Are you going to be working with kids and teenagers, or are you already? 

If you’re going to I hope you take the time. Take the time to understand, help and support. I hope you’re willing to learn. Learn about the kid that one day might be sitting in front of you behind a desk, at the playground or coming to your office for help… You are part of creating a childhood consisting of impression and challenges – a feeling of hope or hopelessness. 

Everyone can do something  – and I want to be a part of creating more understanding. More understanding towards the quiet girl, or the boy who doesn’t speak. An anxiety disorder that still hasn’t been given the attention it needs. Not even the times when it’s right there, so clear, in front of so many people. 

If you are going to be working with kids and teenagers, or you’re already doing it – I would love to come to your workplace and share my story. I want to talk about mental health and selective mutism. I want to put the attention towards the calm and quiet one constantly trying to disappear, because they need just as much support and help as the loud and restless ones. 

I would love to hear from you, so if you have any questions or if you want me to come to your workplace to speak – please send your email to fma11824@gmail.com.

I hope to hear from you!

selective mutism · SM

Jeg skal holde foredrag!

Den 21. april skal jeg holde foredrag om selektiv mutisme, dele min historie og fortelle hvordan jeg kom meg ut av det. Det er en fagdag planlagt og organisert av foreningen for selektiv mutisme (selektivmutisme.no).

Jeg vet at det er noen få plasser igjen, så gjerne sikre deg plass ved å trykke på lenken over og registrer deg! Jeg er så glad for at det finnes mennesker som jobber så hardt for å spre kunnskap, hjelpe og støtte. Jeg håper selvfølgelig flere ser viktigheten i det.

IMG_5877IMG_5876IMG_5875

The 21. of April I’ll be having a talk about selective mutism, my story and how I got out of it. It’s a whole day planned by the Norwegian selective mutism organisation (selektivmutisme.no).

Im excited and I’m so happy that there’s people working so hard to spread knowledge, help and support. As it’s in Norwegian and in Norway I can’t really tell you guys you should get a ticket, but I will of course write on here how it went and so on, as well as share some pictures.

If you want to read my story again though, you can press here!

personal

Jeg trekker meg fra Miss Norway 2018!

Scroll down for english.

Jeg trekker meg fra Miss Norway 2018!

Etter mye fram og tilbake i løpet av en lengre periode, har jeg nå som finalist bestemt meg for å trekke meg fra konkurransen.

Jeg er til tross for det glad for at jeg har valgt å fortsette så lenge jeg gjorde – jeg fikk opp øynene for noe jeg virkelig vil dedikere min tid til, og jeg fant ut hvor mye jeg kan hjelpe og støtte andre på grunn av noe jeg selv har gått i gjennom. Til tross for det er det fortsatt veldig klart at det har skjedd på grunn av viljen min og saken min helt alene, og ikke på grunn av konkurransen jeg har deltatt i. Noe jeg forstår. Det er saken min som betyr noe. Og jeg kan gjøre så utrolig mye, bare ved å være meg og jobbe hardt. 

Hvorfor har det vært så mye fram og tilbake, og hvorfor har jeg kommet fram til dette valget?

Jeg har selv hørt en del om konkurransen tidligere, men ettersom det gang på gang blir sagt at skjønnhetskonkurranser er mer enn “utseende” og “kroppspress”, så tenkte jeg – greit. Hvis jeg gjør dette gjør jeg det fullt og helt for å fremme en viktig sak og vise hva jeg står for. Hvordan kommer jeg til å oppleve det da, kommer det til å føles riktig, at det er det som er viktigst i konkurransen? Jeg har vært objektiv – hørt på flere med forskjellige meninger, tenkt på magefølelsen, og helt ærlig prøvd mitt beste på å forstå hva organisasjonen virkelig står for. Etter å ha fått opplevd dette helt og holdent for meg selv velger jeg nå å trekke meg og en av grunnene til det er at – ja, det handler om mer enn utseende og det overfladiske – penger.

Vi blir dømt og får poeng for sponsorer som gir oss (og konkurransen) penger, vi må betale penger når det kommer nærmere finalene bare for å være deltakere, andre mennesker må bruke av sine penger for å stemme på oss. Vi får også poeng for presse så lenge det blir nevnt at man er deltager i Miss Norway 2018. Så det spiller ingen rolle så lenge det blir sagt? Når man kan nå ut til så mange med presse, hvorfor skal det ikke heller være viktigere å fremme en sak som faktisk kan hjelpe andre? Man får også poeng for veldedighet – som vil si at man kan ta bilde av seg selv hvor man går med børse eller hjelper fattige for eksempel. Og det er selvfølgelig en veldig fin og viktig ting å gjøre. Men hva med de som velger å hjelpe på andre måter, noe som ikke er sett på som veldedighet? Jeg velger å hjelpe, støtte og spre kunnskap til fattige, rike, unge, voksne, samfunnet – de som blir oversett – et så utrolig stort problem verden over. Mental helse, selektiv mutisme. Det gir ingen poeng i en slik konkurranse, med mindre jeg kommer i media og det står at jeg er deltager i Miss Norway. Skjønner dere?  Hvor er fokuset på å hjelpe andre uten å “vise seg frem”? 

Det som fikk meg til å fortsette var at jeg har fått til så mye med selektiv mutisme. Men da må jeg ta noen steg tilbake å tenke på hva som egentlig har skjedd. Jeg har ikke fått det til på grunn av konkurransen. Jeg har fått det til fordi jeg har jobbet hardt helt alene, delt min historie, kontaktet presse og rett og slett bare stått på. Og det er noe jeg kommer til å forsette med! Jeg har ikke fått til det jeg har fordi jeg er med i Miss Norway og det ser jeg selvfølgelig veldig klart, og jeg føler ikke organisasjonen er noe jeg vil støtte lengre. Det er ikke det jeg står for.

Jeg har opplevd at det handler veldig mye om å rose individuelle jenter opp i himmelen hvis de klarer å få inn penger til konkurransen, men klarer man å hjelpe familier og gjøre en forskjell i det hverdagslige livet til andre mennesker uten å få penger er det ikke av lik betydning. Det er mange kommentarer som jeg personlig mener blir slengt ut med en negativ betydning av mennesker som kjenner på “makt” fordi de kan bestemme over konkurransen og kanskje jentene også på et nivå – og de som kjenner meg vet hvor sterkt jeg er i mot at noen bruker sin autoritet på en slik måte. 

I tillegg har jeg mye erfaring som modell, og det er noe jeg fortsetter med, men etter flere år med erfaring er det så viktig for meg å være fri i det jeg gjør, både kreativt og som jobb. Spesielt det å representere noe profesjonelt som jeg kan stå for. Gjør jeg modelljobber må det avklares og eventuell “lønn” må deles med Miss Norway, rett og slett fordi jeg er med i konkurransen. Når det er noe jeg har jobbet meg opp til helt selv fra ingenting, og gjør år etter år som en jobb, synes jeg det blir helt feil å skulle gi bort både avtaler og verdi til en konkurranse jeg er deltager i. Det har hatt en så stor betydning for livet mitt og den personen jeg er i dag – og det er ikke noe jeg bare kan overgi til en konkurranse i Norge.

Jeg må også passe på hvilke photoshoots jeg kan gjøre slik at det er “passende” for konkurransen. Nei, det er ikke meg. Det har også blitt skrevet i hensyn til konkurransen at modeller er “sure”, og skjønnhetsutøvere er “blide”. Når man er en del av den profesjonelle bransjen og har opplevd litt av hvert handler det selvfølgelig mer om kreativitet, kunst, følelser og inspirasjon. Det er så mye mer. Jeg har så mye mer jeg vil dele med dere. Jeg kan ikke takke nei til andre muligheter, jobber, samarbeid osv som kan ha så stor betydning for meg. Jeg føler det er så mye større enn en konkurranse der alt må godkjennes, og jeg må sette så masse på hold, og i tillegg har jeg allerede tatt avstand fra modellbyrå som skal være en del av så mye i livet mitt, så hvorfor skal jeg fortsette å være del av en konkurranse som tar enda mer – og hvorfor skal jeg være med i en finale når jeg ikke vil vinne?  Jeg vil ikke måtte gjøre dette i et år til – det er så utrolig mye mer jeg skal gjøre.

Jeg vil heller ikke ta muligheten fra de andre jentene, de som føler at dette er noe de vil stå for og jobbe hardt for. De er noen utrolig flotte og fine jenter, og husk at dette er selvfølgelig hvordan jeg ser det. Jeg ønsker dere all lykke i alt dere velger å gjøre ❤

Jeg har også møtt andre som har deltatt i konkurransen tidligere, og de er også flotte, sterke jenter.

Jeg synes alltid at man skal følge magefølelsen sin. Fra starten og hele veien hit som finalist har det aldri føltes helt riktig, jeg har følt at noe ikke stemmer – det er noe jeg ikke kan stå for.

Personlig vil jeg tro at det er en grunn til at konkurransen har det ryktet det har. Fra begynnelsen da jeg ble introdusert var det noen sterke bemerkninger som ble gjort om tidligere deltakere på en videokonferanse, med både bilder av personer, og diverse kommentarer som jeg fortsatt tenker på. Kanskje det blir meg nå også? Jeg overlever.

Jeg står for sterke jenter som står opp for seg selv og bruker sine muligheter så godt de kan til å hjelpe andre. Det gjør jeg nå. Det føler jeg ikke at konkurransen gjør. Jeg hadde et håp om at det viktigste var å kjempe for noe med en større betydning. 

Tusen hjertelig takk til alle som har støttet meg. Som har skrevet mail, hørt og delt min historie og min hjertesak. Jeg skal selvfølgelig fortsette med kampen min – selektiv mutisme og mental helse. Jeg skal forsette å spre kunnskap i presse og til skoler slik som jeg har gjort. Jeg skal også holde foredrag. Jeg er så stolt av alt jeg har fått til. Jeg er så glad og takknemlig for at dere – venner, familie, ukjente, kjente, alltid har sett viktigheten i det jeg gjør. Takk. 

Og selfølgelig – nå skal dere få se enda mer av photoshoots, jobber, videoer, mer av det jeg vil vise dere og jeg skal være enda mer kreativ. Det er så mye som kommer! 

Jeg er så glad og føler meg så fri etter at jeg nå har dette valget. Jeg må fokusere på viktige og større ting nå. Nå vet jeg hva som er riktig og jeg tviler ikke et sekund.

Jeg håper dere alltid kan regne med at jeg står opp for meningene mine og sier ifra når jeg føler noe ikke er helt riktig.

Let’s gooooo!

34DEFD82-3C74-420F-ABEC-30C509F57C3F

I have made the choice to leave the competition – Miss Norway 2018!

After a lot of thinking and not being completely sure throughout a longer period, I have now as a finalist chosen to leave the competition.

I am still happy that I chose to continue for as long as I did – my eyes opened to something I really want to dedicate my time to, and I realised how much I can help and support others because of something I went through myself. It’s still very clear to me that it’s happened because of my will and hard work alone, and not because of the competition I have participated in. Something I understand. It’s my case that matters. And I can do so much, just by being me and working hard.

Why have I felt so unsure about being in the competition, and why did I eventually make this decision?

I myself had heard about this competition previously, but after hearing time and time again that beauty pageants are more than “looks” and “pressure to be perfect” I thought – fine. If I’ll do this for one reason only – to fully promote an important case, what will it be like? Will it feel like that actually is the most important thing in the competition? I have been objective – listened to different opinions, thought about my gut feeling, and honestly tried my best to see what the competition really stands for. After getting to experience this completely for myself, one of the reasons for my choice is because – yes, the competitions is about more than just beauty and perfection – money.

We’re getting judged and getting points for sponsors that gives us (and the competition) money, we’ll have to pay a fee when it’s getting closer to the finale just to get through it, other people will have to use from their money just to vote for us. We get points for media as long as it’s mentioned that we’re a contestant in Miss Norway 2018. So it doesn’t matter what else is said? When you have the opportunity to reach out to so many people with media, why shouldn’t it be more important to promote a good cause that actually can help others? You also get points for charity – meaning you can take a photo of yourself while walking collecting money or helping someone poor. And yes that is important and a good thing to do. But what about when you choose to help in other ways, some way that’s not seen as charity? I choose to support, help and spread knowledge to poor, rich, young, adults, the whole society – the ones getting ignored – a huge problem in the whole world. Mental health, selective mutism. It does not give any points in a competition like this, unless I go to media and it says I’m in Miss Norway 2018. Where’s the focus to help others without showing off?

What made me continue was how far I got and everything I accomplished regarding selective mutism. But then again I’m forced to take a few steps back and look at what’s actually happened. I haven’t made it happen because of the competition. I have achieved everything because I have worked hard by myself, shared my personal story, contacted media about my case and just generally really worked hard. And that is something I will continue doing! I dont feel like the competition is something I want to support anymore. It’s not what I stand for.

I have experienced that it’s very much about applauding individual girls if they can get in money for the competition, but if you can help families and make a difference in someones everyday life without getting money for it – it’s not of the same value. There’s a lot of comments that I personally feel is being said and written with a negative meaning by certain people who feel empowered by their position in the Miss N. organisation and possibly feeling they can decide over the girls on a certain level – and anyone who knows me know how strongly I’m against people mistreating and misbehaving because of their “authority”. 

On top of that my continuous experience as a model plays a part in this. After a lot of years of experience in the industry it’s so important feeling free in what I do, both creatively and as work. Especially representing something professionally that I can stand for. If I do modeling jobs it will have to be “clarified” with Miss N. and possible salary has to be shared, just because I’m a contestant. When it’s something I have worked and established from nothing, by myself, after years of hard work, it’s not right for me to give everything away to someone else – including values and work. It’s had such a tremendous meaning for my life and who I am today as a person – and it’s not something I will just let go of like that.

I also need to think of the photoshoot I do so it’s “appropriate” for the competition. That’s not me. It’s also been written in light of the competition that models are “angry” and beauty contestants are “happy”. When you are part of the professional business and have experienced a lot of different things it’s very clear that modeling is about creativity, art, feelings and inspiration. It’s so much more. I also have so much more I want to share with you guys. I can’t say no to other opportunities, jobs, collabs and so on – that can have a much bigger meaning to me. I feel like it’s so much bigger than a competition where everything needs to be “accepted”, and I need to pause so much. On top of that I have already distanced myself from modeling agencies that takes big parts of girls lives, so why would I continue this competition when it takes even more from me – why should I be in a finale when I don’t want to win? I wouldn’t choose to do this for another year – I want to do so much more.

I also don’t want to take the opportunity away from the other girls, the ones who feels like this is something they can stand for and work hard for. They are amazing girls, and remember that this is how I personally see it. We have all lived different lives, are different people – and with that comes different opinions and thoughts about certain things and experiences. I wish you all the best of luck with everything you choose to do ❤

I have also met others who previously participated in this competition, and they are also amazing, strong girls.

I always think you should listen to your gut. From the beginning and all the way up to me being a finalist it’s has never felt completely right for me – it’s something I don’t want to support and stand for.

Personally I do think there’s a reason why the competition has the rumour it does here in Norway. From the beginning when I was introduced there were some strong remarks being said towards previous contestant through a video conference, with both pictures of the person, and comments I still think about. Maybe that will be me now? I’ll survive.

I believe in strong girls standing up for themselves and using their opportunities to their best effort in making changes and helping others. That’s what I am doing now. I don’t feel like the competition does that. I had a tiny hope that Miss Norway was about something more important. Something bigger.

Thank you so much to everyone for your support. Everyone that has written emails, listened to and shared my story and my case. I will of course continue my fight – selective mutism and mental health. I will continue spreading knowledge in media and to schools like I have done. I will also be having talks about it. I’m so proud of everything I have achieved. I’m so grateful for you guys – friends, family, acquaintances , strangers – that you have always seen the importance in what I do. Thank you.

And of course – now you’ll see even more from photoshoots, work, videos – more of what I want to show you guys and I’ll be even more creative. There’s so much to come!

I’m so happy and I feel so free after making this decision. I need to focus on more important and bigger things now. I know what’s right now and I don’t hesitate for a second.

I hope you can always count on me to speak my mind and opinions.

Let’s gooooo!