Photographs · traveling

Weekend Getaway

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Last weekend Dan and I had a little getaway. For Christmas I wanted to give him an experience rather than a thing, so I rented an Airbnb in Narrabeen, basically right on Narrabeen Beach, as a little weekend getaway. It’s really the best time I’ve had here since we arrived. It was such a calm and nice little town, I loved our cozy apartment and being able to start the day on the balcony looking out to the beach and hearing the waves constantly throughout the days.

It makes me feel kinda silly for choosing to live right in the city of Sydney when I know how much I love the beach life, but for now I just need to focus on making the best out of my opportunities while being here where there is a lot going on.

I wanted to share some of the pictures from our weekend with you guys ❤

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If you follow me on Instagram or Snapchat you probably saw more of our weekend there – if you’re not following already my username is @martefre on both ❤

personal · Thoughts · traveling

First Day of 2019 – Thoughts

I’ll be honest. First day of 2019 and I haven’t ever felt more lost. It’s how it goes though isn’t it? In your twenties you’re a bit lost and then you find yourself? I have always known what I wanted to do next, where I want to go next, why I am where I am and doing what I am doing, but now – I have no idea.

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Photo: Mila Ritz

I am thankful and grateful that I got to share my story last year, and be some kind of support for anyone struggling with Selective Mutism. That I had my first talk about it and that my Mom and I finally got to experience the support from others ourselves, even though I don’t have it anymore it was such an emotional experience. This is my most cherished moment from last year. I will keep working even harder this year!

I moved to Oslo with Dan. Somewhere I never thought I would have enjoyed, but turns out – I did have some amazing months. I also finally got to live closer to my best friend, and even though it didn’t last for long I really appreciated being able to have her so close. I also made some amazing friendships – we didn’t get too much time, but the time we had gave us something to keep for years on and for that I am thankful. I loved being able to be closer to my mom, just a quick flight away and I was home, back to the safest place I know, right next to her ❤ I was also closer to the rest of my family – my brother, dad, aunts, cousins, and my little niece… I went through some tough times and lost my Grandpa, and to be honest it’s still very heartbreaking to think about. If my Oslo time taught my anything it’s that my family means everything to me. We don’t have all the time in the world and I just want to spend the time I’m given with them around me. Everyone’s getting older and I just don’t feel like being so far away all the time. So you could probably ask what the hell I’m doing on the other side of the world? I couldn’t even tell you, but I think my restlessness just had to get me here. And that’s probably the biggest reason for why I’m feeling so lost right now. What am I doing so far away? It’s not like I haven’t done it before, it just feels different this time.

I also tried Miss Norway, which I am thankful for because I figured out I really had something to share – my story with SM meant something so much bigger than I ever thought, but it also just made me experience once again how messed up this world is. Old men convincing girls to pay and give them money to be in a pageant that claims to “be more than just about beauty” because you have to have a “case” to fight for – yet if you got them any money the attention was there, but if you made a difference and worked for something bigger it was ignored. I got to the finale and I decided enough was enough. I wrote a blog post about everything I had experienced, and I do really hope other girls read it and learned something from it.

I also started spending more time in the gym with weights and only grew more and more passionate about it. My body has changed – no doubt about it, but so has my mind, and I’m happier than ever just being me.

Dan and I reached our goal this year as well, or should I say goals. We moved to Oslo, worked hard and saved up money so we could go to Australia. I finally got to see Caitlin again, and like we did in London we got the chance to live together again. This time in the cutest apartment. And now we’re here.

It’s nice here, the scenery is beautiful and the weather is amazing. I even love the thunderstorms.

In terms of work I want to be more creative, but the industry seems a lot different over here. Like always I do have some sort of plan for what I am doing and I am very passionate about it, and to be honest right here in Sydney could be a good place to start.

I just don’t know what it is. I struggle to feel like I should be here, that this is the place for me right now. Then again Australia is big and other places might feel different, and I haven’t seen everything even here in Sydney – I just wish the weird feeling would go away.

I’m young and I’ll figure it out. I’m lucky I’m not here completely alone and I got good people around me – which I am so grateful for.

Just because people are traveling and being somewhere completely different than you, sharing photos and experiencing something else – I really don’t want you to think it’s all perfect! It’s tough, and this time it’s much more tougher than I thought it would be – but nothing is wrong with that. Maybe it isn’t for me, maybe I will end up loving it and things will change, but whatever I figure out I just know I’ll have to listen to my true feelings. I’m still staying here for now, and for the rest of 2019 – let’s see what happens. I am incredible grateful to get another year on this earth. I’ll do my best this year – let’s get to work ❤

 

 

Thoughts

Two Kids In Love

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two kids

different lives

different worlds

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trying to figure out life

life and love

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we already know love

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do you know it takes work?

do you want to love and be loved?

do you know it means not giving up?

do you know it means loving yourself?

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go your own path

choose the real love

the unconditional love

the self-love

the love that makes you not just fight for someone else

but yourself as well

 

life is unpredictable but I get to wake up next to someone 

I love.

 

Photos: Vilde Bråten @wildust.photo

personal · Photographs

Self – Love

I want to talk about self-love. About loving yourself. Loving yourself when you’re all alone. Loving yourself without makeup. Loving yourself because you’re unique and you’re you.

We all have insecurities, and when having the type of anxiety I used to have – it was more centered around other people. It is so frustrating being inside your head – and having confidence and self-love, but the second you get out in situations where you feel unsafe, all of that disappears. It used to take a second and I felt like I was robbed of everything I had when I was by myself.

So what happened? How did I push myself enough to have the same feelings about myself no matter who I’m surrounded by? How did I go from being the quiet one who only wanted to be invisible, to someone who loves herself and respect herself?

By being surrounded by my mom growing up I learned to love myself from an early age. I knew my worth and I knew I always had the right to my own opinions. I learned that my voice and dreams was just as important as anyone elses. This could unfortunately never have “saved” me from my anxiety disorder. I had to go through it, but I always had what my mom taught me in the back of my mind.

When I managed to fight the anxiety I was struggling with, and realised what I actually could do – everything changed. I took my confidence outside of home, I started speaking up and I wanted people to hear me. I’m always thinking – you only have this one life, why would you ever waste it by worrying about what other people would say or mean or think about you?! Every single one of us is going to be gone one day, and how will they opinions about you matter then, or ever? Why should it stop you from doing or saying what you want? You need to live your life to the fullest, and it always starts with loving yourself – before anything.

I know there’s so many struggling with this every day – so I wanted to write down some things you might find helpful ❤

* Write down the things you like about yourself. You can even ask your closest what they appreciate and love about you.

* Always remember you only have this one life to share your opinions, stand up for yourself and make a change.

* If someone doesn’t like you? Know that they have their own problems and there’s always a reason for something – they are probably struggling with themselves and it really is sad how that’s the only way they can make themselves feel better. Know it’s not worth any of your attention. Focus on you and your life. They are the ones wasting time.

* You are UNIQUE and no one is like you!

* Find a hobby. Maybe you’re wondering how this will help with self-love? If you spend day by day looking at people and what they are doing with their lives – you won’t feel good about yourself. Pursue something! Do something for yourself, and get good at it – or even just improve. You are capable of so many great things. Do it for yourself and no one else.

* STOP COMPARING YOURSELF! I know people do this every single day. Why do you want to look like someone else?! You are so special. There’s so many inspiring people out there and I get inspired every day, but I would never wanna be them. The world already has one of him or her – I wanna be me because no one else has that. You should own it – it’s so amazing.

Be good, do good – and love yourself.

Photographs

In My Great Grandma’s Dress

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Feeling proud to be able to wear this dress ❤ It’s actually 38 years old, and used to be my great grandma’s dress. She loved it so much and even though she’s not here to see me in it, I’m so happy I get to wear it. In these pictures you can see a little bit of my hometown and it’s beauty. It was actually -15 while taking these pictures so I wasn’t very comfortable, but I just had to pretend.

It might not be that much going on here, but I’m so proud to have such a beautiful hometown.

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Here she is in the dress, with my aunt next to her ❤ I wasn’t even born at this time.

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My Fav YouTube Videos!!

It’s quite a few YouTube videos on the channel now – so I thought I would share some of my favourites with you! It used to be only my channel so I do have some videos that’s fun for me to look back at, but probably a bit boring for everyone else, which is why I put some on private now. Now it’s me and Dan’s channel together because of the videos we have already done, and the ones to come!

But I thought we’d do a little flashback and look at some of my favourite ones on the channel! And maybe you can share yours!

Who remembers this?!? Hahaha. It was our first ever video and I remember he was surprisingly willing to do a video with me and for me to put it out. Have we changed any? Lol.

So unforgettable! One of the most amazing trips of my life. Dan wasn’t even supposed to be there, but we were away from each other for two weeks and he found the cheapest flight – and three days later he landed in Bangkok. It was my first time in Thailand, and his ever time outside of England and on a plane! So special.

Haha and of course this one!! It wasn’t as easy to convince him as when he got to do my makeup, but I managed it and I was so happy lol. I remember you guys liked this one a lot as well! Maybe it’s time to do it again?? 😀

DEATH. This one almost killed me. Or at least made the ambulance come to my house and I had to go to the ER. Don’t eat a ghost chili guys… Especially if you chew it whole because it will be chilling in your stomach hours later just burning up.

Workout video! Some of my fav workouts that I still do today. But with a tiny bit bigger booty and a stronger body. Hard work pays off. Maybe I should do another one with some new exercises?

First prank! This one was funny and I really got him. Dan said he would get me back, but I’m still here waiting. Hmmm. Maybe he just can’t do it as good as me 🙂