selective mutism

Video – Foreningen for Selektiv Mutisme

Jeg skriver oftest bare på engelsk her, men jeg ville veldig gjerne dele en video fra da jeg holdte foredrag tidligere i år og fortalte min historie med selektiv mutisme, og i tillegg fikk møte utrolig mange flotte mennesker. Det var en helt spesiell dag. Selv om jeg ikke sliter med det lengre vil det alltid være en del av livet mitt, og bare det å ikke føle seg alene lengre var så utrolig fint. Det vet jeg at mamma kjente på også. I tillegg var det fantastisk å vite at det jeg har å si kan hjelpe andre. At min historie betyr noe. Da blir alt liksom verdt det.

Jeg må bare si tusen takk til Foreningen for Selektiv Mutisme som faktisk gjorde den dagen mulig, og for alt de gjør alle andre dager. Dere er helt fantastiske.

Håper dere liker videoen ❤

This is a video that was filmed the day I had my talk about selective mutism! It was such a special day, and I’m so grateful that both my mom and I got to experience it. From going through it all alone to meeting so many amazing people supporting each other was amazing. Even though I don’t have selective mutism anymore, it will always be a part of my life. Unfortunately the video is in Norwegian, but I will add my two other videos in English about selective mutism here as well. ❤

Photographs

I Can’t Describe It

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Photos taken back in my hometown by my mom. I miss her ❤

I’m kinda stuck with a feeling of not knowing what I’m doing, not even knowing how I feel about Sydney yet. So far it’s been stressful and less free than what I remember when I first moved to London. I know it’s partly because the circumstances are different, but I also know what situations and moments I need. It’s not always the easiest thing even though you know why and how and all that. You probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ll continue writing anyway.  It ‘s so difficult describing what I’m feeling because I really don’t know just now, I’m not sure.

I’m now 22 and it feels weird to be honest. Well only the number I guess. Saying it and writing it. It just doesn’t feel like me. Your age isn’t you, but it’s still weird. I’ve decided this is going to be the year of realising things. Just realising everything. Kidding. I think you know where I was going. But I do want to figure out things. It’s not very specific, I know, but luckily I know what I mean. It’s difficult though. I just feel like there’s so many parts of me, so many passions and it’s all just a bit too blurry. As long as I try and also remember to challenge myself, then possibly end up failing, but for sure learning, then do it again, and eventually get to where I want. Sounds like a plan? I think so.

Something random: Today was the craziest weather day here in Sydney. It was a thunderstorm and I’ve never experienced anything like it. I believe there were quite a few accidents though, at least one very bad, which is extremely sad. I find it so scary how you can just leave home one morning and then never come back again… It’s very true but so upsetting…

I hope the weather was better where you are, and that you’re all good and safe!

traveling

Let’s Be Honest

So what’s new?

Currently working our asses off looking for apartments, found the perfect one but didn’t end up getting it, going through job interviews (well one for me so far), and honestly more set than ever on working even harder with my independent work so that I one day soon can do what I love for a living. Also stuck with a cold and I end up sneezing about twenty times every minute. Jet lag is gone though.

If anyone tells you it’s easy moving to the other side of the world they must be lying – or they’re just rich.

I always talk about how much I love traveling, and also how anyone who has a dream to just move somewhere completely new should “just do it” – and I still mean it.  I just don’t want you guys to thinks it’s the easiest thing – you can get lucky, but it’s still a lot of work. Especially if it’s not just you. I have a feeling most people think it’s harder to move somewhere completely new and foreign all by yourself, rather than with others, but I feel like it’s the other way around. I think you just have to jump right in regardless, you’ll always figure it out. It truly is worth it.

So yeah – I’m currently tired and happy, and even more excited to get properly settled in, see more of Sydney and just experience life here ❤

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Time to get back to work, I’m so ready for this new adventure!

mental health

Depression and Social Anxiety- The New Trend?

Listened to this podcast the other day and they randomly brought up something that made me think.

So many people today keep talking about social anxiety and depression, and it just seems like we’re all lost in what it really means and how serious it is. Nervousness is actually being mistaken for social anxiety. Sad and tough days, months and times are being seen as depression. Life isn’t supposed to be easy and I don’t think the first thought should be to diagnose yourself. There can (and should be, I think personally) hard times in your life. How did life turn into a bunch of diagnoses? I don’t think it’s difficult to find the answer. Hearing people throw these diagnoses around like it’s nothing can actually make you think that there might be something more to what your feeling, because of course – what you are feeling is important, but it doesn’t mean you have something more affecting you than just life itself.

There’s so many feelings and other sides to life than just happiness, bliss and motivation. Did we somehow forget these last years that nervousness can make your stomach hurt, hands shake and even make you forget everything you just did and say? Did we forget life comes with ups and downs, you can’t just expect one bad day – it’s very possible there will be more, or did we just never realise this until people started being open about depression? And finally we could explain our lack of motivation, not getting up from our beds and the bad year we had? We’re so focused on talking about what’s wrong with us and rather than telling other people why we are feeling like that, we talk about the diagnosis that makes us feel like that, but when are we going to realise the focus should be elsewhere? It should be on you and you understanding yourself. If you need to talk to someone you should, if you need a break take it – but feel your feelings and work on you the best you can, you don’t always need a diagnosis for the tough times and the tough situations.

Trust me, I do know that depression and anxiety is very real. I don’t want you to think anything else. I have had low times, but never depression. Anxiety on the other hand, I have experienced throughout my childhood as most of you guys know. It’s not like I judge every person saying they suffer from anxiety because it’s not the same as what I went trough, and I think being open and honest about our struggles is a very positive part of our generation. I still strongly feel like all the labels and diagnoses are too much the center of attention. If we just started being honest about how we feel and where we are in our lives emotionally I think it could change so much for all of us. We could stop questioning if our feelings are not serious enough, or too serious, and just be more open about the struggles we go through as a part of life.

Your feelings, your life and your mental health should be your number one priority – nothing is wrong, too much or too little… Work with yourself, figure our how you can help yourself – and even if that means receiving help and support from others in order to feel better, that’s what you need to do ❤

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Photo by Saq Imtiaz and edit by me
personal · Photographs

Less Or More, More Or Less

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I still remember when I went to try and get my Visa accepted, for the second time, to go to America. The first time I didn’t get accepted because they didn’t believe I just wanted to go to Los Angeles all alone, to experience and fulfil a dream I had as a little girl. The second time I remember the guy almost got angry at me when I told him about my story and how I want to continue to travel to experience and see the world. “Are you never going to settle down?” “What are you supposed to do for the rest of your life?”. I remember thinking “who are you to make me feel bad about actually doing the one thing I want to do in my life”.

We all have created the expectation of a life over time, “settling down”, and the word “unrealistic”. These rules and ways of life that only exists inside our heads.

I want to live my life exactly how I want to live it. Such simple words and a given really, right? But that’s what my plan is – for as long as I live. That’s what we should do, isn’t it? It’s yours to live.

I want to be free. I want to be with the ones I love so much and so strongly that my heart even hurts a little bit. I want to see and experience everything of this planet that I have time to see. I want to speak up. I want to make the difference I can.

I might not have it all figured out. I might not spend all my young adult life studying to become a lawyer or a doctor. I might be here one day and in another country the next day. I might be a model one day, a waiter one day, and a business owner some day.

I am still educated. I am still hard working. I am still growing each and every day. More than others, less than others. I am just doing my own thing – less or more, more or less – it shouldn’t be compared, we shouldn’t be compared. 

We are constantly told how we are all unique and no one is like one another, so let us live a unique life. No matter what that means to you. It’s yours.

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Photo: @susiphotographer

Photographs · poem

My Mind

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you tell me what you dreamt 

as your eyes 

rested

and I

find myself thinking

why

how

do we dream

live 

breathe

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why do we have a beginning 

and an ending

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is there a reason for it all 

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you tell me what you dreamt 

as your eyes 

rested 

and I keep my thoughts

to myself

as I laugh 

with you

 

 

 

– Marte Fredriksen

Photographer: @wildust.photo

Food · personal

Let’s Talk About Food

When you’re young it’s easy to not consider the importance of taking care of your body and the consequences it might bring you later if you don’t. Choosing good, healthy, and sustainable food has multiple benefits. It benefits you. It benefits the animals. It benefits the environment. Our planet.

As a 17 year old, I got the opportunity to travel as a model. Before traveled, I got “trained” in the modeling industry. My mother agency (your base model agency) that I was with at the time, was telling me what I had to do to be “good enough”. I always knew in the back of my mind that what I was doing to my body was not healthy or good in any way, and my body also tried to let me know – but my ambition and dreams were bigger, and I eventually got very good at convincing myself and everyone around me into thinking that I only did what was necessary, in a “healthy” way. 

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Photo: Susanne Pettersen

The reason why I’m using a lot of quotation marks, is because it later became obvious to me that the food I ate and didn’t eat, left huge marks on me. The way you choose to nurture your body – what food you put on your plate – is the most important choice you make for yourself, and you take that choice every single day.

Now I know that it does not matter if someone is –  older, younger,  more successful or powerful – than you, it does not mean that they know what’s the better choice for you and your health. Listen to your body. Food is the drive for all your thoughts, strength, ambitions – your life and everything it involves. 

Be aware. Be aware of how much or how little you’re giving to your body, be aware of what happens to your body when you choose to give it hot dogs and Coca Cola, and most of all what exactly it is you are allowing your body to use as fuel – what it consists of. 

As a 15 year old I could not get myself to understand the importance of the right nutrition. Looking back I see now that I felt invincible and did not think that any of the choices I made regarding food back then could ever have the power to stay with me forever.

I tried to convince myself and everyone around me. I became good at that. Until it all became too visible. Until my body said stop. 

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Photo: Susanne Pettersen

It will always, eventually, come to a point where the body forces you to stop or you’ll break down – completely. Either it’s too much food, too little, or too toxic… It comes to a point where it’s too late and you can’t just go back and “fix” what you have done to your body. The body that always tries to protect you, fix you and tell you when something is not right. You only get so many chances to listen. 

So what did all of this give me? What happens when a young, healthy and strong body suddenly stops eating after seven in the evening? What did it do to a happy girl full of ambitions, life and dreams when food became her worst enemy? When she chooses to exclude natural carbohydrates like rice and potatoes from her diet because then “I’ll be thin enough”?

It gave me pain. It gave me a lifelong illness, ulcerative colitis. A stomach constantly fighting against something that’s not there in the first place – leaving me with unnecessary pain that will never leave. Making it more important than ever to give my body the right nutrition, and giving me no opportunity to neglect my body any more, because only the best will help me. It gave my mom tears and fear. It gave my friends a distant friend that slowly disappeared. It gave me sadness and emptiness, tears and loneliness. 

It also gave me something else. It gave me a lesson, a tough and lifelong one, but a lesson. It gave me an understanding.

We all have a responsibility. I have a responsibility. 

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Photo: Susanne Pettersen

Bad food and food habits pose a bigger threat to health globally than tobacco, alcohol,  drugs and unsafe sex combined, but while there’s an age limit for alcohol and warnings about death on cigarettes packets – what is there for food? Toxic, unhealthy food? Nothing. There are commercials for it. It’s on kids menus.

There are so many people out there today that have a complex relationship with food – and I used to be one of them. It is difficult, tough and all-consuming. 

I wish I would have been kind to my body. I know for a fact I would have appreciated everything so much more. Everything that gave me real and true happiness. The new countries, the amazing people, every single experience. The things that still give me butterflies looking back at.

I would love to be able to go back in time and have a long conversation with myself, but then again – I am here now, a lot wiser, and with so much more experience. That counts for something. 

Imagine if we all could get rid of those thoughts… Take away all of those “this makes me fat, we have eaten meat since forever, it doesn’t affect me”… Imagine if we could change it into “what is actually good for my body, what will give me the correct nutrition, how can my body function the best way possible”… – And from there knowing that all the positive changes will show on both the inside as well as the outside.

The world isn’t where it should be when it comes to plant-based and sustainable food, but together we could all get further. We are the ones who can make a change. Everything is about what we want, what we are buying, what we need. What if we could ask for the best, not just for us, but for the earth as well?

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Photo: Susanne Pettersen

But how can we make it simple? We constantly have newspapers, bloggers, nutritionists, parents, teachers and even doctors telling us one thing is good one day, then bad the other day.

What is good food? Food that is good for your health, for animals and people in the supply chain – for the planet?

Food journalist for NYT Michael Pollan summarises the science and says that the short answer to what us humans should eat in order to stay maximally healthy is – “Eat (real) food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

Less is more. Less ingredients, less food additives, less mass produced products that can stay in your cabinet for months without turning bad. And yes, less meat.

More simple, clean and natural foods. Food that grows, that doesn’t come in a box and that has ingredients you know of. Food that can rot. It’s a natural and good sign. Eat more plants, seeds and grains.

When you are stuck with an illness and your only option is to eat what in reality is good for the human body, and not what people necessarily tell you – you start to realise the importance and huge impact it has, which is hard to see when you’re constantly getting pulled in different directions the second anyone talks about the word “healthy”.

The reasons why I have been eating more plant-based food in the past years have been the welfare of the animals and for my own health. I have also had many discussions with my closest people about it, and a lot of them, I surround myself with today,  have gone through a journey of their own and found reasons to choose a more plant-based lifestyle, which makes me very happy now that I know how much the food you eat can affect your health. Through documentaries I have learned how the meat industry affects the environment and our planet. Globally it is one of the largest sources of greenhouse gas emissions, and in developed and emerging countries it is perhaps the leading source of water pollution. It truly needs more attention. Recently is has made an even bigger impression on me, as I now know more about the impact is has on our planet. By meeting Gunhild Stordalen, Executive Chair and Founder of the EAT foundation, I have been inspired to learn, read and educate myself more on the environment side of it all.

Please – love yourself by choosing the right daily fuel. Last, but not least – Don’t forget about our planet!  

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Photo: Susanne Pettersen