Photos taken back in my hometown by my mom. I miss her ❤
I’m kinda stuck with a feeling of not knowing what I’m doing, not even knowing how I feel about Sydney yet. So far it’s been stressful and less free than what I remember when I first moved to London. I know it’s partly because the circumstances are different, but I also know what situations and moments I need. It’s not always the easiest thing even though you know why and how and all that. You probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ll continue writing anyway. It ‘s so difficult describing what I’m feeling because I really don’t know just now, I’m not sure.
I’m now 22 and it feels weird to be honest. Well only the number I guess. Saying it and writing it. It just doesn’t feel like me. Your age isn’t you, but it’s still weird. I’ve decided this is going to be the year of realising things. Just realising everything. Kidding. I think you know where I was going. But I do want to figure out things. It’s not very specific, I know, but luckily I know what I mean. It’s difficult though. I just feel like there’s so many parts of me, so many passions and it’s all just a bit too blurry. As long as I try and also remember to challenge myself, then possibly end up failing, but for sure learning, then do it again, and eventually get to where I want. Sounds like a plan? I think so.
Something random: Today was the craziest weather day here in Sydney. It was a thunderstorm and I’ve never experienced anything like it. I believe there were quite a few accidents though, at least one very bad, which is extremely sad. I find it so scary how you can just leave home one morning and then never come back again… It’s very true but so upsetting…
I hope the weather was better where you are, and that you’re all good and safe!
Dan and I finally got the chance to be tourists today and explore more of Sydney! Soooo fun and I feel like I already love this city so much more when I don’t have to be running around looking at apartments all stressed out. It’s so beautiful here. We went out to eat near the Opera house and then went on to see the Botanic Gardens. Dan did his favourite thing – find different birds and film them. It’s really cool to see so many different animals here though! Can’t wait to see more. If it’s one thing I’ve been wanting to work with for my whole life it’s animals, either as a job or volunteering. I will for sure do it later on.
We went to see a few apartments yesterday that we ended up applying for, and it seemed like it’s gonna go the right way, so hopefully we can start fixing and decorating our home very sooooon ❤ I would be so happy.
Finally we are here! It was such a long journey to get here but so worth it. I can’t say we have seen too much yet, but there’s a lot that reminds me of LA – only cleaner and less crazy, haha. We have already seen one apartment, and are looking at more tomorrow, sorted out SIM card and bank account – so I would say we’ve gotten a lot done for just one day. It’s always quite a few things that needs to be sorted out when you move somewhere new, so the best thing is always to start as soon as possible. The jet lag is still a bit of a struggle, but that’s just how it is. I’ll update more very soon 💕
Yesterday we finally booked a place to stay for the beginning of our Sydney journey, and I couldn’t be more happy! I’m soooo excited and it all feels a lot more real now. It’s getting closer and closer to the leaving date, and soon I’ll be going home to spend some time with my mom – before I come back to Oslo and start the looong trip to Sydney with Dan. Then we finally meet Caitlin and our adventure begins. It’s going to be amazing!
I wanted to show you guys some of the pictures from the place we have chosen – we’re so happy with it and all the hard work in Oslo has definitely paid off ❤
I still remember when I went to try and get my Visa accepted, for the second time, to go to America. The first time I didn’t get accepted because they didn’t believe I just wanted to go to Los Angeles all alone, to experience and fulfil a dream I had as a little girl. The second time I remember the guy almost got angry at me when I told him about my story and how I want to continue to travel to experience and see the world. “Are you never going to settle down?” “What are you supposed to do for the rest of your life?”. I remember thinking “who are you to make me feel bad about actually doing the one thing I want to do in my life”.
We all have created the expectation of a life over time, “settling down”, and the word “unrealistic”. These rules and ways of life that only exists inside our heads.
I want to live my life exactly how I want to live it. Such simple words and a given really, right? But that’s what my plan is – for as long as I live. That’s what we should do, isn’t it? It’s yours to live.
I want to be free. I want to be with the ones I love so much and so strongly that my heart even hurts a little bit. I want to see and experience everything of this planet that I have time to see. I want to speak up. I want to make the difference I can.
I might not have it all figured out. I might not spend all my young adult life studying to become a lawyer or a doctor. I might be here one day and in another country the next day. I might be a model one day, a waiter one day, and a business owner some day.
I am still educated. I am still hard working. I am still growing each and every day. More than others, less than others. I am just doing my own thing – less or more, more or less – it shouldn’t be compared, we shouldn’t be compared.
We are constantly told how we are all unique and no one is like one another, so let us live a unique life. No matter what that means to you. It’s yours.
Those two extremes equal me. Who I was, who I have become.
There’s the one extreme that has shined through and the one people now seem to recognise in me. Creativeness, ambition and boldness. The loud one that wants to be seen, that wants to live for her passion and be creative. The one that made me fight.
This side of me has made me do and experience things I never in a million years thought I would. It has made me get out of my darkest time, and keeps on pushing me everyday.
There’s the other one that took up my entire life as a kid. Selective Mutism. Anxiety. Fear. I never left the memories and feelings behind me, I decided to take it with me and carry it to show others what is possible. To inspire and help. Support and spread awareness. I took charge of it and decided I would keep my fight with me to show you, to remind myself of what I have achieved.
It also made me different. Different forever. In a good way. More emotional, but also better at explaining my feelings. More understanding. Stronger. A fighter.
Even if I didn’t want to speak up about it – I know I would forever have parts of it with me. In everything I am and will become.
So this is what I want it to be about. To share with you guys. The two sides. The two extremes. Me.
I hope you want to keep reading, interacting and following. There will be new updates here every Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned.
Photos: Goldsmith Photography
Lots of love,
Anyone who knows me also knows that I really don’t like tanning beds (most of all because it’s so bad for your skin and body!), but they also know how much I like having a bit of a tan and glow all year round. Living in places like London or Norway makes it difficult to get a fresh glow most of the time, so I turn to self tan. It’s so important to me that it leaves a natural result and also that it’s very quick and easy.
I’m so happy I got the chance to test out the Self-Tanning Treatment from Swiss Clinic. It’s a two step treatment that leaves your face looking naturally tanned and fresh. On the photos you can see the results from using it for only three days. After you get the colour and glow you want you only need to use the products for about two times a week.
The treatment consists of two products – the Self Tan Drops and Self-Tan Pads. I use the self tan drops in the morning after washing my face, and the self-tan pads in the evening after removing my makeup, it also gives your skin moisture and you’ll wake up with an even tan!
You can find the treatment HERE and my discount code for you guys is “SWISSCLINIC21Y” to get 20% off!