personal · Thoughts · traveling

First Day of 2019 – Thoughts

I’ll be honest. First day of 2019 and I haven’t ever felt more lost. It’s how it goes though isn’t it? In your twenties you’re a bit lost and then you find yourself? I have always known what I wanted to do next, where I want to go next, why I am where I am and doing what I am doing, but now – I have no idea.

W-1-2 copy

Photo: Mila Ritz

I am thankful and grateful that I got to share my story last year, and be some kind of support for anyone struggling with Selective Mutism. That I had my first talk about it and that my Mom and I finally got to experience the support from others ourselves, even though I don’t have it anymore it was such an emotional experience. This is my most cherished moment from last year. I will keep working even harder this year!

I moved to Oslo with Dan. Somewhere I never thought I would have enjoyed, but turns out – I did have some amazing months. I also finally got to live closer to my best friend, and even though it didn’t last for long I really appreciated being able to have her so close. I also made some amazing friendships – we didn’t get too much time, but the time we had gave us something to keep for years on and for that I am thankful. I loved being able to be closer to my mom, just a quick flight away and I was home, back to the safest place I know, right next to her ❤ I was also closer to the rest of my family – my brother, dad, aunts, cousins, and my little niece… I went through some tough times and lost my Grandpa, and to be honest it’s still very heartbreaking to think about. If my Oslo time taught my anything it’s that my family means everything to me. We don’t have all the time in the world and I just want to spend the time I’m given with them around me. Everyone’s getting older and I just don’t feel like being so far away all the time. So you could probably ask what the hell I’m doing on the other side of the world? I couldn’t even tell you, but I think my restlessness just had to get me here. And that’s probably the biggest reason for why I’m feeling so lost right now. What am I doing so far away? It’s not like I haven’t done it before, it just feels different this time.

I also tried Miss Norway, which I am thankful for because I figured out I really had something to share – my story with SM meant something so much bigger than I ever thought, but it also just made me experience once again how messed up this world is. Old men convincing girls to pay and give them money to be in a pageant that claims to “be more than just about beauty” because you have to have a “case” to fight for – yet if you got them any money the attention was there, but if you made a difference and worked for something bigger it was ignored. I got to the finale and I decided enough was enough. I wrote a blog post about everything I had experienced, and I do really hope other girls read it and learned something from it.

I also started spending more time in the gym with weights and only grew more and more passionate about it. My body has changed – no doubt about it, but so has my mind, and I’m happier than ever just being me.

Dan and I reached our goal this year as well, or should I say goals. We moved to Oslo, worked hard and saved up money so we could go to Australia. I finally got to see Caitlin again, and like we did in London we got the chance to live together again. This time in the cutest apartment. And now we’re here.

It’s nice here, the scenery is beautiful and the weather is amazing. I even love the thunderstorms.

In terms of work I want to be more creative, but the industry seems a lot different over here. Like always I do have some sort of plan for what I am doing and I am very passionate about it, and to be honest right here in Sydney could be a good place to start.

I just don’t know what it is. I struggle to feel like I should be here, that this is the place for me right now. Then again Australia is big and other places might feel different, and I haven’t seen everything even here in Sydney – I just wish the weird feeling would go away.

I’m young and I’ll figure it out. I’m lucky I’m not here completely alone and I got good people around me – which I am so grateful for.

Just because people are traveling and being somewhere completely different than you, sharing photos and experiencing something else – I really don’t want you to think it’s all perfect! It’s tough, and this time it’s much more tougher than I thought it would be – but nothing is wrong with that. Maybe it isn’t for me, maybe I will end up loving it and things will change, but whatever I figure out I just know I’ll have to listen to my true feelings. I’m still staying here for now, and for the rest of 2019 – let’s see what happens. I am incredible grateful to get another year on this earth. I’ll do my best this year – let’s get to work ❤

 

 

traveling

Arrived In Sydney

7C6BC984-440D-446A-B3DD-7FF31330AD65

03EAC477-4C2E-4CF4-B333-A7FA77F65C0B

43EDB072-43B5-452D-8CAE-7EAB9B816C4C

Finally we are here! It was such a long journey to get here but so worth it. I can’t say we have seen too much yet, but there’s a lot that reminds me of LA – only cleaner and less crazy, haha. We have already seen one apartment, and are looking at more tomorrow, sorted out SIM card and bank account – so I would say we’ve gotten a lot done for just one day. It’s always quite a few things that needs to be sorted out when you move somewhere new, so the best thing is always to start as soon as possible. The jet lag is still a bit of a struggle, but that’s just how it is. I’ll update more very soon 💕

modeling · Outfit · Photographs

Nude Magazine Event

Processed with VSCO with a5 preset

IMG_4861

IMG_4863

IMG_4859

IMG_4862

IMG_5514

Local time LA: 23.45

Some photos from the event we attended a little while ago! Always in front of the neon lights, lol. I loooove this jacket by the way. Red and teddy material. How perfect?! This is where I’m really questioning changing my hair color and going blonde, outfit like these wouldn’t look as good would they? In my head I’m picturing it would look more cheap and messy…. I don’t know! I need to figure it out for when I get back home.

Other than that things seems like they are getting more clear and I’m getting a tiny bit back for my hard work, right before I leave of course – but I appreciate everything and I know I always have to be patient and thankful. But there’s no doubt about the opportunities that comes while living in this city, they are here for sure.

If you want to know details which I’m guessing because it’s annoying just reading in codes, I can tell you a little bit because you’re in here reading my blog ❤ So I actually have a business meeting tomorrow for something that you will be seeing a lot of soon (hopefully!!), I have been planning two shoots, and I will be doing some photography work as well before I leave which is really cool! I mean more than this I can’t really tell you at this time. It’s a good step forward and I’m excited!

Photographs · Thoughts · traveling

Dinner With My Roommates

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

So last night we went to do some promo for the sushi place, Sushiya, that Katie works for and we all had sushi for dinner! Cozy night. Also a little “fun”fact – earlier this day I had been crying. I’m sharing it because I hate when people act so perfect, and I love when they share something random and honest. Now you might also think “ooh I see it she looks different”, but no there’s just no eye makeup… The times you can tell I’ve been crying you can really tell. There’s been times where my eyes have been so swollen you almost couldn’t see them, hehe.

I have a weird thing – sometimes there’s weeks where I don’t like sushi at all and can’t even eat it, while times like this – since I’ve been in LA – I love it. I think it’s the sushi that I buy from the shop that makes me feel sick, when it’s not that fresh.

Can anyone tell how black my eyes look by the way?? My pupils are always so big except for when I’m in sunlight, and I don’t even know why…

Today is going to be a nice Thursday guys! Katie and I are going around Santa Monica and making a day out of it, and maybe I’ll find a cool outfit as well. Because in the evening we’ll be celebrating my birthday and I’ll be turning 21!! Wow. I’ve been thinking I’m actually going to disconnect from all social media on my birthday, on Friday. I want to just be in the moment and appreciate where I am and what I am doing. It’s so easy to say you’re going to do that, but people always bring up their phone, and especially on their birthdays or special occasions – answering and writing texts, when you should be enjoying the moment. I’ll answer everyone either the day before (because of timezones lol) or the day after. I don’t want to spend any time on social media for that day ❤ Maybe I’ll make it a thing for my birthdays.

modeling · Photographs · traveling

Who Do I Live With?

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

You saw a quick clip of who I live with in my last video, but here’s more of Kayla! Such a fun and loving person ❤️ We were gonna hike up to the Hollywood sign yesterday, but the sun was setting so we just found a random hill and I led the way, lol. We got a nice view though! It was so pretty with the pink colors in the sky.

I was going to post the video of me and Dan today, but I have to do it tomorrow. I’m on my way to a shoot in San Diego and it will take ages before I get to upload it and my phone will probably end up dying. I’m excited for the shoot though, and I’ll get to see a new place! I will probably vlog the day and for sure take lots of photos as well. It’s even going to be with camels, haha. I just hope they’re treated well! Will update you guys about the day more later!

Photographs · Snapshot · traveling

Snapshots From Saturday!

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Some pictures from Saturday! From earlier in the day, evening and at 1 Oak. Love it when I have pictures to look back at!

Right now I’m currently at my fav spot, eating lunch and having coffee between agency meetings. And charging my phone of course. I’m actually going to Beverly Hills for the next agency so I’m thinking I might stay there today and explore a bit as I’ve never been there before! So far it’s looking good and I do think I have some opportunities here, so hopefully I would be able to come back after Christmas.

The weather is insane today by the way, it’s so hot! I’m thinking I really want to go down to the beach or something one of these days and just enjoy it. I’m running around a lot so I don’t really get the chance to enjoy it as much as I want. I mean, we’re in the end of October and I’m so not used to this.