personal · Thoughts

You Can’t Be Brave Without Being Scared

Dan and I went to see this movie the other day “Eight Grade”, it was a good movie – but most of all was the meaning of it, the message and what it could mean to others. There’s certain things that the main character “Kayla” said that I feel resonates with how I felt as I was trying to put Selective Mutism completely behind me. Mostly in my teens when I did talk to others, but found it really difficult. The movie is not about Selective Mutism, and even though the main character finds it difficult to be herself and talk a lot to the people at her school she does not have Selective Mutism, but I know there’s certain things and feelings being explained in that movie that you for sure have felt yourself if you struggle or have struggled with SM, most likely on a different scale – but it’s just a nice thing being able to listen someone speak and explain things in a more childlike way, somehow it becomes more real and honest.

This was said in the movie;

“I’m really like nervous all the time. … It’s like I’m waiting in line for like a roller coaster and that stupid like butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling you get. I get that all the time. And then I never get the feeling after you ride the roller coaster.”

I remember walking around constantly feeling this way. There was never a moment to relax and not think or worry about anything and everything. And it just kept on going like that.

She also talked about confidence.

“A big part of confidence is being brave, and you can’t be brave without being scared”

At the end of the movie she said these words, amongst others like “pretend you have confidence and that will somehow generate real confidence”.

That is something I felt I had to do as I was trying to get rid of my anxiety when I was younger. I believed in myself, always, but I did not have a lot of confidence in doing anything or saying anything when I was around others. So I just started pretending. It sounds so easy, but it feels like the most difficult thing in the world for people struggling with Selective Mutism – pretend you have confidence? How are you supposed to do that when you can’t say a word, right?

Like I said this is what I started doing after I had challenged myself for years with the little things, that I’ve talked about previously – the small steps that matters the most. After getting through it I was able to be myself a bit more, or at least answer and have short conversations. I knew I had to challenge myself on different levels if I wanted to get to where I one day saw myself. I was in my teens at that time. I saw people around me daily do and say things and not even think twice about it, so I started saying to myself I could do it to – I should do it because then one day I might even be like them – just fully be myself and not be one bit concerned or worried about it, because I knew in my heart there really wasn’t any reason to be.

And just remember it’s not always going to be comfortable, nice feelings, a safe environment… In the moment it might feel worth it to stop challenging yourself so you don’t have to face those feelings, face the unsafe and scary – but it’s so important to keep telling yourself this is what makes me grow, makes me better and stronger. Like I always think – people are just people, who cares? We won’t be here for long so just be yourself and enjoy the great things in life, share your opinions and be proud of who you are. Life’s too short. Take on the challenges and don’t be too hard on yourself along the way. You can do anything. You just have to believe it yourself.

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selective mutism

Video – Foreningen for Selektiv Mutisme

Jeg skriver oftest bare på engelsk her, men jeg ville veldig gjerne dele en video fra da jeg holdte foredrag tidligere i år og fortalte min historie med selektiv mutisme, og i tillegg fikk møte utrolig mange flotte mennesker. Det var en helt spesiell dag. Selv om jeg ikke sliter med det lengre vil det alltid være en del av livet mitt, og bare det å ikke føle seg alene lengre var så utrolig fint. Det vet jeg at mamma kjente på også. I tillegg var det fantastisk å vite at det jeg har å si kan hjelpe andre. At min historie betyr noe. Da blir alt liksom verdt det.

Jeg må bare si tusen takk til Foreningen for Selektiv Mutisme som faktisk gjorde den dagen mulig, og for alt de gjør alle andre dager. Dere er helt fantastiske.

Håper dere liker videoen ❤

This is a video that was filmed the day I had my talk about selective mutism! It was such a special day, and I’m so grateful that both my mom and I got to experience it. From going through it all alone to meeting so many amazing people supporting each other was amazing. Even though I don’t have selective mutism anymore, it will always be a part of my life. Unfortunately the video is in Norwegian, but I will add my two other videos in English about selective mutism here as well. ❤

video

We Pranked My Best Friend On Camera!

New video! And from now on it’s going to be even more of them. We recently moved to Oslo and have so much motivation to film for you guys. There’s already two videos coming up!

But first – our first prank together, and Dan’s ever first prank. The unlucky person was my best friend, now that we finally live in the same city again she couldn’t get away, haha. Also very proud of Dan for being able to do it so well because he was honestly so nervous guys!! Haha. Subscribe for more and show some love ❤

modeling · Work

What Have I Been Up To?! Photoshoots, Modeling, Filming…

My last week here is the busiest ever! I have so many pictures to show you guys as well, I’m really excited! So on Sunday I had an all day shoot with evening gowns at the most gorgeous place (you’ll see soon!), and yesterday I had another shoot and we ended up filming a lot as it’s mostly what the guy I was working with does, so there will be a video coming up – and there’s already some pretty cool clips out on my Instagram story if you haven’t already seen it! And then today I’m going to an exciting casting, and tomorrow another photoshoot! Lots of things going on. Really exciting and fun! Stressful, but in a good way.

I’ll update you more with new pictures and everything soon – now I have to run! Have a great day/evening/night ❤

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Photo: @garretstone