mental health

BEFORE & AFTER – Gaining Happiness

Times have changed and I know a lot of people are now wanting to gain muscles instead of just getting skinnier or losing weight, which is how I feel like it used to be. If you, as a girl, were working out you just wanted to get a little bit toned and would much more rather loose weight than gain it. I remember I wouldn’t lift any heavier than like a 5kg weight because I didn’t wanna get muscles that were “too big” . Because I was a girl and it wasn’t pretty. Stupid, right? This was before I developed a serious problem with food, weight and my measurements, but I still had that mindset.

That’s loooong gone now and I love lifting heavy weights. I mostly do legs, that’s no lie, and I guess partly how that started was also a result of the world changing around us and what became more “popular”. Now I feel differently. I do love having more curves, but I most importantly have a genuine passion for working out with weights and getting stronger – it gives me a lot more than what just running on a treadmill does. It’s a little break from all the stress around me, just going to the gym and focusing on me and what I’m doing in that exact moment and only that. Working out has always been some sort of therapy for me, no doubt.

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It’s clear to see the difference on the outside, but the changes on the inside are what matters the most. On the left you see a young girl who had actually GAINED weight after being in Athens and then I had arrived in Milan, still extremely skinny and also sick. My body was craving so much because I had been neglecting it from everything for such a long time that I started buying crazy amounts of junk food, going back to the model apartment, eating it all, then not eating anything the next day except for drinking juice because I felt bad. I remember feeling so ashamed, just thinking how in the world I became “that girl”. Truth is: anyone can. As this was going on I was even helping other models struggling, giving them advice and talking to them about their problems with food and their bodies. It’s crazy how much in denial I was.

I remember that later, after Milan, when I started gaining weight because I actually got a inflammation in my stomach as a result of everything I had done (will have to live with that forever) and had to start a medicine that gave me a lot of water weight, my model agent sent me pictures from my Milan trip saying how perfect I was back then. I mean, how does it not mess you up?

Then on the right – you can see me now. Healthier and happier. Strong and in love with both pizza and green tea.

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I will always have a slim figure, it’s just in my genes and I am not trying to show you guys what anyone should look like, or what a transformation should be. This is just mine. That is not what I am trying to shed light on – no body types, no big or small, no thigh gap this or big butt that. It’s the happiness you give yourself when you decide to just let you be you. The healthy version of you. Wether it’s going to the gym just a little bit more, or going a little bit less. Wether it’s to stop letting yourself not eat what you want because of “carbs”, or if it’s adding more vegetables to your dinner instead of eating noodles every day. It’s all about balance. Too much of anything is never good.

I found change in the people around me as well, I started realising what was important – knowing I could not live my life like this. I met Dan and all I started doing was living in the moment. Food was something to enjoy and love was something you couldn’t define by a body or an image. I realised love is real and it doesn’t judge. So I stopped doing that as well. I decided to give love to the real me and everything that comes with doing so.

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Photographs · traveling

Weekend Getaway

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Last weekend Dan and I had a little getaway. For Christmas I wanted to give him an experience rather than a thing, so I rented an Airbnb in Narrabeen, basically right on Narrabeen Beach, as a little weekend getaway. It’s really the best time I’ve had here since we arrived. It was such a calm and nice little town, I loved our cozy apartment and being able to start the day on the balcony looking out to the beach and hearing the waves constantly throughout the days.

It makes me feel kinda silly for choosing to live right in the city of Sydney when I know how much I love the beach life, but for now I just need to focus on making the best out of my opportunities while being here where there is a lot going on.

I wanted to share some of the pictures from our weekend with you guys ❤

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If you follow me on Instagram or Snapchat you probably saw more of our weekend there – if you’re not following already my username is @martefre on both ❤

traveling

Tourists In Sydney

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Dan and I finally got the chance to be tourists today and explore more of Sydney! Soooo fun and I feel like I already love this city so much more when I don’t have to be running around looking at apartments all stressed out. It’s so beautiful here. We went out to eat near the Opera house and then went on to see the Botanic Gardens. Dan did his favourite thing – find different birds and film them. It’s really cool to see so many different animals here though! Can’t wait to see more. If it’s one thing I’ve been wanting to work with for my whole life it’s animals, either as a job or volunteering. I will for sure do it later on.

We went to see a few apartments yesterday that we ended up applying for, and it seemed like it’s gonna go the right way, so hopefully we can start fixing and decorating our home very sooooon ❤ I would be so happy.

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Thoughts

Two Kids In Love

6

two kids

different lives

different worlds

2

trying to figure out life

life and love

no

we already know love

3

do you know it takes work?

do you want to love and be loved?

do you know it means not giving up?

do you know it means loving yourself?

1

go your own path

choose the real love

the unconditional love

the self-love

the love that makes you not just fight for someone else

but yourself as well

 

life is unpredictable but I get to wake up next to someone 

I love.

 

Photos: Vilde Bråten @wildust.photo