En fin liten vlog fra Sydney ❤
Last weekend Dan and I had a little getaway. For Christmas I wanted to give him an experience rather than a thing, so I rented an Airbnb in Narrabeen, basically right on Narrabeen Beach, as a little weekend getaway. It’s really the best time I’ve had here since we arrived. It was such a calm and nice little town, I loved our cozy apartment and being able to start the day on the balcony looking out to the beach and hearing the waves constantly throughout the days.
It makes me feel kinda silly for choosing to live right in the city of Sydney when I know how much I love the beach life, but for now I just need to focus on making the best out of my opportunities while being here where there is a lot going on.
I wanted to share some of the pictures from our weekend with you guys ❤
If you follow me on Instagram or Snapchat you probably saw more of our weekend there – if you’re not following already my username is @martefre on both ❤
I’ll be honest. First day of 2019 and I haven’t ever felt more lost. It’s how it goes though isn’t it? In your twenties you’re a bit lost and then you find yourself? I have always known what I wanted to do next, where I want to go next, why I am where I am and doing what I am doing, but now – I have no idea.
Photo: Mila Ritz
I am thankful and grateful that I got to share my story last year, and be some kind of support for anyone struggling with Selective Mutism. That I had my first talk about it and that my Mom and I finally got to experience the support from others ourselves, even though I don’t have it anymore it was such an emotional experience. This is my most cherished moment from last year. I will keep working even harder this year!
I moved to Oslo with Dan. Somewhere I never thought I would have enjoyed, but turns out – I did have some amazing months. I also finally got to live closer to my best friend, and even though it didn’t last for long I really appreciated being able to have her so close. I also made some amazing friendships – we didn’t get too much time, but the time we had gave us something to keep for years on and for that I am thankful. I loved being able to be closer to my mom, just a quick flight away and I was home, back to the safest place I know, right next to her ❤ I was also closer to the rest of my family – my brother, dad, aunts, cousins, and my little niece… I went through some tough times and lost my Grandpa, and to be honest it’s still very heartbreaking to think about. If my Oslo time taught my anything it’s that my family means everything to me. We don’t have all the time in the world and I just want to spend the time I’m given with them around me. Everyone’s getting older and I just don’t feel like being so far away all the time. So you could probably ask what the hell I’m doing on the other side of the world? I couldn’t even tell you, but I think my restlessness just had to get me here. And that’s probably the biggest reason for why I’m feeling so lost right now. What am I doing so far away? It’s not like I haven’t done it before, it just feels different this time.
I also tried Miss Norway, which I am thankful for because I figured out I really had something to share – my story with SM meant something so much bigger than I ever thought, but it also just made me experience once again how messed up this world is. Old men convincing girls to pay and give them money to be in a pageant that claims to “be more than just about beauty” because you have to have a “case” to fight for – yet if you got them any money the attention was there, but if you made a difference and worked for something bigger it was ignored. I got to the finale and I decided enough was enough. I wrote a blog post about everything I had experienced, and I do really hope other girls read it and learned something from it.
I also started spending more time in the gym with weights and only grew more and more passionate about it. My body has changed – no doubt about it, but so has my mind, and I’m happier than ever just being me.
Dan and I reached our goal this year as well, or should I say goals. We moved to Oslo, worked hard and saved up money so we could go to Australia. I finally got to see Caitlin again, and like we did in London we got the chance to live together again. This time in the cutest apartment. And now we’re here.
It’s nice here, the scenery is beautiful and the weather is amazing. I even love the thunderstorms.
In terms of work I want to be more creative, but the industry seems a lot different over here. Like always I do have some sort of plan for what I am doing and I am very passionate about it, and to be honest right here in Sydney could be a good place to start.
I just don’t know what it is. I struggle to feel like I should be here, that this is the place for me right now. Then again Australia is big and other places might feel different, and I haven’t seen everything even here in Sydney – I just wish the weird feeling would go away.
I’m young and I’ll figure it out. I’m lucky I’m not here completely alone and I got good people around me – which I am so grateful for.
Just because people are traveling and being somewhere completely different than you, sharing photos and experiencing something else – I really don’t want you to think it’s all perfect! It’s tough, and this time it’s much more tougher than I thought it would be – but nothing is wrong with that. Maybe it isn’t for me, maybe I will end up loving it and things will change, but whatever I figure out I just know I’ll have to listen to my true feelings. I’m still staying here for now, and for the rest of 2019 – let’s see what happens. I am incredible grateful to get another year on this earth. I’ll do my best this year – let’s get to work ❤
Our permanent apartment won’t be ready until next Saturday, and as we couldn’t stay in the current Airbnb until then, we had to book another one for the four days before Saturday. That means moving again, packing up all the clothes and even food we’ve bought this time – which is annoying, especially since I’ve started work as well, but it’s all gonna be worth it on Saturday! So far it’s all going very good, I just really can’t wait until we’re properly settled into our new home.
I was off this weekend, and it was so nice getting that Friday feeling again – being able to sleep in and just experience more of Sydney. We actually went to Manly to eat and have some cocktails, before we went back home to change and go out in central. If you like Hip Hop or R&B I recommend going to The Cliff Dive. I have been there twice now and both times it’s been good music and just good vibes. If you want to sit and have a table you would probably have to come early, but it’s a place for mostly dancing so if that’s your type of nights out you’ll be fine.
Today has been a more chill day, pizza and sleeping in – but we actually felt so good despite going out we decided to go to the gym as well. The nicest thing without a doubt is the jacuzzi after, it’s going to be so sad to leave behind.
I also contacted a few modeling agencies today, so hopefully I’ll be able to get in touch with someone this week. It’s not always the easiest thing finding the right modeling agency as there’s so many different ones, but the main thing is always finding someone who understands you and what you want to do.
This is a photo taken from the ferry the other day, I love how you basically can take boats how you take trains to go places here. I also need to tell you about my birthday last week in a different post, so stay tuned! I hope everyone has (or had) a nice Sunday, wherever you are in the world.
For the last year (++) I have been lifting weights and from that I’ve become both more strong and curvy, which I honestly feel so comfortable with. I am so happy that I’ve gotten to the stage I have, just thinking back at how I started my modeling career now seems like a completely different world to me. I am so happy for my experience through the good and the bad.
I actually start a new job on Monday – where I can still use my experience as a model, be strong and exactly how I am, and for once really understand and see a different side to the fashion industry. More of the business side and the parts behind it all. Being part of a company and a team, not just a model and a mannequin.
It’s so crazy how things work out sometimes. You really don’t know what the next day will bring until it’s here. Suddenly I have a job I really wanted and an apartment in Sydney. I’m grateful.
It’s currently 03:03am here and I have been looking at “awkward moments” videos on YouTube for too many hours now. I started off with someone singing and now I’m way past that. Time to go to bed.
It’ s also my birthday on Saturday and I have no idea what I’m doing. Dan has planned something so I’m just gonna be excited and wait ❤
Dan and I finally got the chance to be tourists today and explore more of Sydney! Soooo fun and I feel like I already love this city so much more when I don’t have to be running around looking at apartments all stressed out. It’s so beautiful here. We went out to eat near the Opera house and then went on to see the Botanic Gardens. Dan did his favourite thing – find different birds and film them. It’s really cool to see so many different animals here though! Can’t wait to see more. If it’s one thing I’ve been wanting to work with for my whole life it’s animals, either as a job or volunteering. I will for sure do it later on.
We went to see a few apartments yesterday that we ended up applying for, and it seemed like it’s gonna go the right way, so hopefully we can start fixing and decorating our home very sooooon ❤ I would be so happy.
So what’s new?
Currently working our asses off looking for apartments, found the perfect one but didn’t end up getting it, going through job interviews (well one for me so far), and honestly more set than ever on working even harder with my independent work so that I one day soon can do what I love for a living. Also stuck with a cold and I end up sneezing about twenty times every minute. Jet lag is gone though.
If anyone tells you it’s easy moving to the other side of the world they must be lying – or they’re just rich.
I always talk about how much I love traveling, and also how anyone who has a dream to just move somewhere completely new should “just do it” – and I still mean it. I just don’t want you guys to thinks it’s the easiest thing – you can get lucky, but it’s still a lot of work. Especially if it’s not just you. I have a feeling most people think it’s harder to move somewhere completely new and foreign all by yourself, rather than with others, but I feel like it’s the other way around. I think you just have to jump right in regardless, you’ll always figure it out. It truly is worth it.
So yeah – I’m currently tired and happy, and even more excited to get properly settled in, see more of Sydney and just experience life here ❤
Time to get back to work, I’m so ready for this new adventure!