Some of you might remember this blog post. Selective Mutism affects about every 1 in 1000 kid. It affected me. The truth is there is not enough knowledge anywhere about this anxiety disorder. There is not enough help for kids struggling and parents struggling. My mom and I was a team and we managed it together, I got through it stronger than ever. Sometimes you will need more help. You should be able to get professional help, it is such a serious disorder.
But where’s the help? Why is it that so many doctors, professionals in mental health – no one knows more about it? Why have teachers not been educated more about such a disorder, when time after time there’s someone right in front of them, in their class, struggling so terribly?
After my blog posts and shares in Facebook groups there have been people reaching out to me. A lot more then I would have thought. I hope my story can be an inspiration and that anyone struggling know that they can contact me wherever and whenever. I’m here. There has been kids, parents, teenagers and adults – it doesn’t matter what age, you can be affected regardless.
But it’s not enough, I know that. I want to work harder so that more people can get educated about this anxiety disorder. That teachers can understand they make it so much worse for someone with SM by trying to make them talk in class or punishing them because they are not speaking. So much worse!
And just using some of my platforms to talk more about this, and share it as well is somewhere to start. I’m motivated – more people needs to understand what Selective Mutism really is.
I just got back from Oslo today and have been sitting in this same spot working and planning all day. Tiiiiired! But this is me right now so why not just share it with you guys. Hope everyone’s good ❤
If you’re reading this you have probably noticed it’s my first blog post in a long time! I took a very needed break. I was really sick, and had to book a new flight home because I was too ill to get on the plane. I’m just now getting better, still not completely fine. I’ve been really jet lagged and spent the hours awake during the day with my mom and Dan. I just kind of put everything away for a little bit, social media and any work – no gym, no nothing. I think my body just said stop after everything that was going on in LA and I needed to just let my body and mind rest for a bit.
I’m soon back to normal, and tomorrow I’m leaving again! Gran Canaria for Christmas, with my mom ❤ I will update this blog, but more than anything I will focus on YouTube from now on. I’ll be posting all new content on here, including modeling work and photoshoots, outfits… I also have other fun things coming up, and I just need to get back to working hard so everything can turn out how I want it! I really missed writing though, and updating on here – it’s something I really enjoy.
Stay tuned! Good things will come!
Thank you so much for all the love after my previous post ❤ It’s amazing, and I hope some of you got inspired and realized how important it is to work on yourself and the love you have for yourself – because if you dont have that you’ll never be happy no matter what you look like.
So in two weeks I will actually be back home in Norway at this time! That’s crazy! I can’t believe my time here is almost up already… I’m so happy about what I’ve made happen with such a short amount of time though, not even two months. And I can’t wait to come back here! I’ve figured out the answer to the question which was part of the reason why I came here – and that was if this is the place I need to be in my life right now – and yeah, looks like this is where I should be.
When I get back I will only be home for about a week, and then I will go to Gran Canaria. My mom and I has this tradition that we always go somewhere together once a year for a girls trip and to spend time together, which we’ll always keep doing ❤ It’s been a while since our last time, so I think it’s gonna be really good.
Right now I’m making the most out of my last weeks here, and then I’m so excited to come home and see Dan who’s back home working right now! Before this the longest we had been apart was actually only two weeks, and that is literally from the second we first met – ever, haha. Crazy!
Look how pretty! Katie and I went to this really quiet and calm place in LA some time ago and I saw exactly how I would want it to be the day I wanna settle down. A quiet place in a big city next to the beach and ocean… It’s so weird that I came across it and it was just how I wanted it, all of it. I got the weirdest feeling just looking around but I think I really needed it. Motivation.
I needed to post this today and I needed to look at the pictures again just because they give me something. It’s not easy when you are timezones away and you feel like you’re not being understood in the way you wish you were. Today I feel like no one understands what’s going on right now (yes I am in LA and super lucky!! But there’s more stuff, pressure and stress being built up), so when people bring me even more instead of understanding me and my words I get really drained and end up wasting a lot of time and energy.
I’m working on getting better at not getting so caught up in it and just stop wasting time trying to make people understand what I see or feel, because it’s just something I can’t always expect.
I believe everything always happens for a reason, and things will work out in my life, no matter what direction it leads me there’s always a reason for it.
I’m so lucky and blessed, and there’s so many struggling and trying to make people understand that you can not keep wasting precious time – you need to love, learn, grow and make time for the ones who gives you positivity in life. And most of all you need to take care of yourself.
I’m gonna make the most out of my day now ❤
So I know I have had a lot of people come across my blog after this post. My mom posted it in a group on Facebook and showed me all the response which was incredible. Incredible and tough. It was tough to see that there’s so many struggling. I just wanted to let you all know that you can contact me whenever with any questions you have. I’m happy to share more of my experience and how I managed to get better, to answer any questions or just listen.
I’ll share my other platforms here as well if you want to continue and follow my journey or contact me on any of them ❤️
Facebook: Press here.
Youtube: Press here.
Can’t help but laugh a bit of this pic. Me and the guy that made it so difficult for me to go pursue my dream 🙂
Some of you are probably thinking “What, positive? How can there be any positive sides to it?”
So let’s start with the negative things, which I think some of you might have experienced.
- You can’t be close! It’s starting to get so annoying only looking at Dan but not being able to cuddle or just touch his hair… Lol. He’s like right in front of me on facetime, but still so far away.
- You can’t do those everyday things together. Like making breakfast, working out, watching series before bed, and just being weird together. That’s a thing I really, really miss 😦
- Missing out on memories and experiences together. Especially now that I’m in a new place and I know how much he would love it. I experience new things all the time and there’s so many cool things we could do here together. I can tell him about it, but it obviously won’t be the same because it’s not like actually being here.
- Fear, worry and insecurity. I know this is a big problem in a lot of long distance relationship. “Where is she?” “What is he doing?” It’s so important to communicate with each other and not just sit on the other side of the world overthinking and questioning, instead of talking and bringing up any fears, worries or insecurities. Dan and I talk everyday and even though it is a challenge being so far away from each other, we both do our best to make it as easy as possibly on the other part.
- Missing anniversaries, birthdays, celebrations… That’s moments where you really want to have your gf or bf next to you and be able to share it with them. So far we weren’t together for our 1 year anniversary and we’re most likely not going to be together for my birthday either (even though I hope so I have to believe it!!)
❤ Here’s the positive sides to it:
- You get to find out how strong you are. How powerful the relationship is. If you really love someone you should be able to still be in a relationship even though you’re timezones away. If there is an important reason for the person being away, and the other part not being able to come – we should still make it work and not be selfish about wanting the person to be close all the time when it affects important aspects in their life.
- You get to miss each other. I never intended to literally start living with Dan so quickly, and not to forget the first months we were staying in his room. And that is a TEST. Living in a room with someone is a lot because you’re in each others space all the time (I need alone time to function properly). I still think everyone needs to breathe and be okay on their own, obviously still in the relationship, but remembering they are their own person. I can be by myself, and do things without him – as he can do as well – and feel even more so how we value each other and care for each other. I think it’s important to be confident in each other and encourage one another to focus on their own things as well.
- It’s so nice when you see each other again! I can’t wait to see him, and it’s gonna be soooo nice! I think it’s so weird that from the moment I met Dan the longest I have been away from him has literally been two weeks? Like from the moment I saw his face for the first time. That’s crazy to me, lol. Didn’t think I would wanna spend that much time with someone I’m in a relationship with, but there he was.
As some of you know I’ve been in the modeling industry for a few years, and I started traveling when I was 17.
I have changed a lot for the industry, especially when I just started out and I thought (and was told) that was the only way. Do what they say. The only thing they don’t tell you is that people will always want different things, and if you try to listen to everyone instead of yourself you’ll completely lose who you are.
I have learned a lot, and I’m finally sure of who I am and who I want to be – and I’m proud of it.
So when I went to see some agencies I got a comment that I previously would have responded with “yes, I understand, I’ll do that” or if not that I would go around thinking about it and trying to change myself again.
As you know I’ve been doing weights at the gym and I looove it! And myself for that matter. My measurements around my hips and bum has obviously gotten bigger, and in the modeling industry there is usually certain measurements that agencies and clients want you to have. Hearing “well you do know you would have to lose some, you know… the cm are a bit big around your hips for your size…” and me answering “oh you know what, sorry, I won’t do that. I have changed before and I will never do that again. I’m really happy with myself and I love having more curves.” And I experienced something I wouldn’t have thought before, a positive response in me standing up for myself and not wanting to change for anyone. That will not always be the case and I know that, but it will always have a positive outcome for you as a person and that’s the only thing that should matter.
If you want to know more about my modeling story you can watch my videos where I tell you guys more about it HERE! You’ll find part two on my channel as well.