Local time LA: 23.10
Why did you make me think about you the whole night? Why couldn’t I just let it go?
Was it because you looked a little bit cleaner? A little less “crazy”?
I know I have from my mom. This thing about always thinking more of a person, any person. I can meet someone for a second, but I’m stuck thinking about their lives – what they have been through – who they are behind closed doors – dreams, fears… At times I try to shut it out because it can all get too much, and sometimes people have bad intentions, but still – it doesn’t mean they are bad people, or have been a bad person their entire life.
You walked past me on Hollywood Boulevard and I think I looked at you for two seconds. And I’m here in my apartment two days later, but suddenly you crossed my mind again. Your eyes looked sad, your beard a bit dirty, and your white T-shirt like you’ve used it for too many long days, and too many tough nights. You still walked with your back straight and head up, but you didn’t look me in the eye – and you didn’t talk to yourself or shout. You just kept walking.
You are just like me. You came to this world so innocent and so full of life. How do I get to walk right past you to a warm bed, and you go on your way in the dark looking for a safe little corner to spend the night before waking up to do it all again? Did you give up? Did someone give up on you?
Did you come here to chase your dream?
Maybe I should have turned around and asked you. Maybe you would’ve been happy. Maybe your story isn’t how I thought at all, but it would still make you happy. Wouldn’t it?
I’m sorry. Sorry that I let others that I walk past make my decision for me. That it’s better to leave you and not say anything, or ask you. Sometimes they just don’t know what’s going on anymore, and I’m just left to wonder – knowing I wouldn’t get an answer. But I know it’s not always like that.
I hope you found a safe place tonight.