The feeling of not being in control. The feeling of time just passing by.
I get stressed out because I want forever.
I don’t know what will happen. Is there going to be nothing or is everything going to be new?
I just know I would never want to be someone else.
I would never want my battles to be different because they have made me into who I am today.
I would never want to be without these loving people I have around me.
I really do appreciate every bad and good thing in my life so much. It has helped me grow, and I do feel grateful for the person I’ve become so far and how my eyes see the world.
I don’t know what’s to come, but even though my life will change – I will still be me and I know I will keep the people I love in my life. It’s what I’ve been doing since I started living.
So I think it’s a scary feeling.
Not having forever.
Am I being greedy? Yes, probably.
Does it make me appreciate every day more? Yes, hopefully.
So I try to look around. I see what I have at this moment – and I feel so happy.
I might go chasing for different things, but never would I go chasing for different people. You only have this one life to keep them with you – and damn if I ever let them go.
I’m keeping them with me.